Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

Confusing even the most astute minds in HTG Hollywood, Island of Terror and 100% Wool Necktie Warehouse owner Bryan Bishop has made a change to one of the locations on his off-the-coast home. Bishop has turned his private zoo to Bryan Bishop’s Animal Prison. Zookeeper Arthur Hoggett has had his title changed to Warden.

“I believe that this reflects what is really going on over there,” remarked Bishop during a break in his busy production schedule. The 10K Cases operator refused to elaborate any further on what the operations would entail.

Visits to the Animal Prison can be made by appointment and by passing a simple 3-stage obstacle course.

“I can’t let just anyone in” concluded Bishop.

The new promotion by Men at Work Construction has brought in one customer this weekend, Flip Brothers co-chief PJFlip. Purchasing a pool and pool house for both his small home and his mansion, PJ has invited uberbabe Megan Fox and blonde cutie Kristen Bell to stay for a while.

Due to the extremely graphic nature of Megan Fox in a bikini, we at Happening have instead posted the above picture of the Transformers star. “Holy schamoly!” exclaimed staffer Bob, who fell out of his office chair when he saw the swimsuit pix. “I’m going to have to put in my notice and get hired on as PJ’s pool boy!”

Men at Work will continue to run the pool house special through the end of August, as well as other specials during the summer months.

They have served as apartments for HTG Hollywood residents for years. Some of the city’s most-known citizens have bedded there, from TCW frontman Lucian Carter to Edward Havens, producer of the upcoming A Pound of Flesh. But now, according to building owner Sureshot, all that may be coming to an end.

“Can apartment block owners evict residents?” the British native asked during a recent visit to HTG Chat.

The shock of the announcement echoed through the room. Throw paying tenants out? For what purpose?

“I want to convert The Sweet Forever Suites. I was thinking of buying back the apartments and converting each floor into something different. Club, leisure spa, shopping mall, etc. Or I might just model it on the Chelsea Hotel. Slice of Bohemia in HTG.”

Not everyone felt that such an action was a good one.

“Never; it’s in the contract of rent that I must be given suitable notice” was one response.

Although Sureshot is still deciding what to do with his property, angry petitions have already been filed by residents with city housing officials.

“If Sure wants to play hardball, so be it” declared one apartment owner who wished to remain anonymous. “He can send all of the tux-wearing hitmen that he wants. I paid for this place to live and I’m staying.”

Calls to Sureshot were left unreturned as of press time.

It was recently reported in various entertainment news sources that actor Heath Ledger and actress Michelle Williams had ended their three-year relationship. The two have a young daughter. A mutual friend stated “It was rocky for awhile. They did what they could to make it work.”

Rumors have recently risen that the separation has been less than agreeable. Days ago a neighbor of Lucian Carter’s Welles Street home reported seeing Williams spending a great deal of time at the home.

“She would hang out at the hot tub all day,” explained the neighbor, “waiting for Lucian to get home. It’s sad, because he doesn’t live at that house any more. He bought a larger place over on Dean Drive and spends most of his time there. But Williams won’t leave. It’s sad.”

Could the presence of the actress at the HTG resident’s spare domicile have anything to do with the split from Ledger? Calls to Ship of Fooles were not returned by the studio chief/producer/casting agent/television head/garage owner.

Michelle Williams does not have an HTG credit to her name. Among Heath Ledger’s HTG credits is the recent fantasy noir Over the Rainbow by 10,000 Cases Productions.

Hotshot critic DCE was arrested by HTG Hollywood police on Monday evening after a neighbor called to complain about music blaring from the mansion at 44 Howard Lane. When the police arrived, they found DCE dancing around in the buff and playing bongo drums. A CD of Gary Numan’s New Wave classic Cars was blaring repeatedly on the critic’s sound system.

DCE decided to plead guilty to violating HTG Hollywood’s noise ordinance. He was not fined, but ordered to seek therapy for his automobile fixation.

“I can’t help it,” confessed the HTG resident. “I like cars. Lots of cars. When I can buy more, I will. I realize that it’s an obsession, but what’s wrong with that? Some people collect pets. There’s a guy who collects bobbleheads. I collect cars.”

As of this writing early Tuesday evening, loud music has not been heard from the DCE mansion again.

A small selection of DCE’s car collection, many of which were
purchased at the Classic Car Lot on HTG Hollywood’s Hitchcock Lane.

Life has been good for Mark Chua. The HTG Hollywood hotshot has his own arthouse studio. His work is respected, picking up awards at the recent Carsons. He has a movie coming out this Friday based on him (kinda). And recently he bought a mansion that’s the envy of others in the neighborhood. How has the new house been treating the beloved resident?

“Mr. Chua is enjoying the good life that he so rightfully deserves,” stated a Nu/Art Studio rep during a recent visit. “People admire him. People want to be with him. The mansion provides him a location to relax, to get out of the daily grind that is HTG Hollywood.”

When asked if life at the celestial mansion was always peaceful, the representative grinned.

“I guess you heard that Mr. Chua has Clive Owen staying at his pool house. It’s a convenient arrangement for both men. Clive gets a place to stay and Mr. Chua gets an actor who will work for him for free, as long as his Talent Score remains below 4.”

(Mansion pool house guests are limited at 4 TS. Large houses, 3; medium houses 2; small houses 1.)

“The crazy thing,” continued the rep, “is that Clive likes his guns. He has quite the collection. He runs around the property at odd hours of the night, shooting at random things. That’s not a great idea, because, among other things, Mr. Chua has a pet elephant roaming the property. It cost Mr. Chua twenty million dollars. That’s worth more than a houseguest, if you know what I mean.”

Mark’s “hot tub babe” is not entertained by Clive’s nocturnal activity.

“It’s all rather foolish,” Dame Judi Dench commented. “It is quite difficult to get into a good game of Dungeons and Dragons with that racket going on outside. But, if it makes him happy, so be it.”

When new neighborhoods make their way to the HTG map, will you get to chose where you live? If so, will Chuck Norris want to move as far away from Matthew Atwood as possible? And why wasn’t Chuck invited to the nude Slip ‘N Slide party?