Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

Hey, guys, I’ve got some more juicy gossip concerning the upcoming season of Total Championship Wrestling. It’s amazing what someone can hear if they’re too short to be noticed. Haha.

Anyway, will this next season be the year for BLZ Bubb? A little while back I reported that he may be getting a name makeover. Something like Behemoth or Blue Kinda Sorta Meanie. Well, no word on that yet, but I do know that B has been hitting the weights pretty hard lately. Someone said that he’s packed on some muscle. How much larger will the grappler be when the first week of Season 6 comes around? I’ll be watching to find out.

Lucian… He’s the dude who runs Rogue Net and TCW… is always looking to mix things up for the show. Get this… Someone has told me that he’s in talks with Brooke Hogan… the daughter of The Immortal One himself… to wrestle a male in a one-time bit. Can you imagine that? And who would Lucian pair her against? I personally think Beef Wellington would be too easy. She’d need more of a challenge. Nobody likes Cornell. How ’bout him?

I also heard that Lucian’s going to ban cars from entering the arena in future productions, because guys have been doing all sorts of crazy things with them. A car can sure mess up a guy more than a piledriver. I don’t blame Lucian on this one.

Although a little extra money is being pumped into the next TCW season, Ric Flair has been told to go easy on his GM spending. Ol’ Ric has always enjoyed the high life, but Lucian wants him to reel it in a bit. Can’t blame him for that, either.

That’s it for now. I’ll drop by Happening again when I have some more TCW news and rumors for you.

The views of Wrestleboy do not necessarily reflect the opinion of What’s Happening in HTG Town, its editor and its staff.

“Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes he eats you.”

Such were actor Dean Stockwell’s first words to this reporter when I asked why he was no longer a part of the Rangelov film The Kid 2. Just a handful of days ago, Stockwell’s name was mentioned as a part of the cast in this news source for the sequel to the film written by Brainful. And, as fickle as HTG Hollywood can be, the job was taken away from the man who has yet to score a job in the city.

“Lucian [of Ship of Fooles Studio, releasing the movie] gave me a call,” explained Stockwell over a slice at Flip Brothers Pizza [which is now doing deliveries again, thanks to the auto shop class over at HTG High School]. “He said that they were going with a bigger name… DeNiro. Okay, sure, Bobby’s a bigger name. We go back, the two of us. I don’t regret him for the decision to can me. But I had already set some time from my life to preparing for my role. And what did it get me? A tiny teddy bear and a coupon for a free car wash. That’s not what I call respectful. Sure, I appreciate the public comment about my talent. But, let’s face it, that’s not going to help me pay the bills.”

When asked if he would work with Ship of Fooles again, Stockwell seemed optimistic.

“Have you heard anything?”

The Kid 2, a Brainful/Rangelov production, is set to be released by SoF on April 3rd. John Cena is set to return in the title role.

Not since 2005 has singer/actress Beyonce Knowles managed a big screen role in HTG Hollywood. So, when approached by Lucian Carter to have a lead in his new romance Peaches and Cream, she was thrilled to accept. Appearing in the “Peaches” part of the script, Beyonce was informed that the nature of the project included an older woman-younger woman lesbian encounter. But the actress was amazed at how far director Ang Lee would take his filming.

“I was shocked at how much was shown of Allison [Janney] and me in the dailies,” Beyonce stated. “Well, shocked might not be the word. Angry would be closer. I really don’t do that kind of work. We were nude… completely nude… in some portions. But, when I saw how Ang took gentle care of the story from Lucian, I felt better. Granted, the film is very adult in nature… I would definitely not allow children to see it… but it’s a nice story told well and filmed well. I think people will be pleased with how it turned out.”

Producer Lucian Carter recently answered questions concerning the movie for The Hollywood Times. Peaches and Cream is the second release by Ship of Fooles chief Lucian since the crime drama Square Deal.

Peaches and Cream, a Ship of Fooles film released through Miracle Pictures and directed by Ang Lee, opens Friday.

Reporters from this HTG news source have uncovered photos proving the existence of secret experiments performed by city scientists. Presumably using funds provided through donations to public works, but with no specific target, these scientists are apparently developing what we are calling “cyborg creatures”. The photos focus on one particular cycreature, a large mechanical spider. Unfortunately, no details of the experiment were discovered with the photos.

Queries to the city have not been returned. Officials stated that the photos will be examined by Mayor Megan Fox when she returns from her current fact finding tour (to an unknown location).

Is it a coincidence that the mayor is out of town when these photographs were discovered? Is she really on a fact finding tour or was she rushed away so that she could not be held accountable for the discovery?

Reporters from Happening will stay on top of this story until Mayor Fox returns and provides a reasonable explanation.

Fire fighting vehicles were called to Wood Way this afternoon when flames erupted at the construction site of Bada Bing!, the new nightclub hoping to open soon on the city’s east side. Although the lads at Local Engine 55 arrived as quickly as they could, the fire had been going too long for the construction to be saved. Fortunately, firefighters did manage to control the blaze so that neighboring businesses would not be harmed, including Mega Mart.

“We’re mighty angry about this loss to HTG Hollywood,” stated Captain Tucker of the HTGFD. “Things like this shouldn’t happen. Let’s face it, we’re painfully underequipped to handle even the smaller fires like this one. If only we had, say, two more fire vehicles, we coulda brought this fire under control with minimum damage. Perhaps we’ll see some donations to public works in the department’s name. I sure hope so, before any more blazes like this occur and someone gets hurt.”

Information on donating money to HTG public works can be found here.

As for this particular blaze, an investigation has begun.

UPDATE: Captain Tucker of the HTG Fire Department and Chief of Police Winslow have just initiated their investigation in the fire at the Bada Bing construction site, but have already made some discoveries: 1) The source of the fire was localized, started in the construction itself. 2) Ship of Fooles head Lucian Carter had passed by the site early in the day and witnessed a pair of homeless men attempting to warm themselves with a trash can fire.

The HTGFD and HTGPD are operating under the initial assumption that the fire was started by a warming trash can (metal 50-gallon barrel) that got out of control. Homeless in the eastern half of the city are being questioned. So far, none that match the description that Lucian saw have been located. Stay tuned to Happening for further developments.

Thanks to the success of the Rangelov Productions film The Kid, WWE star John Cena has been asked to return to his titular role in The Kid.

In The Kid 2, Jason “The Kid” Torn (Cena) leaves Yafiso behind to start a new life. But soon he is drawn into a criminal empire. How far will he rise? And what must he sacrifice to do it?

Possibly set to star with Cena in the film are Dean Stockwell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Edison Chen, wrestler Mike Knox, Saul Rubinek, Daniel Dae Kim, Paris Hilton and wrestler Mark “The Undertaker” Calloway. Oliver Megaton is in talks to direct again.

“All cast are tentative,” explained Lucian Carter of Ship of Fooles Studio, “except John Cena himself.”

The Kid 2, a Brainful/Rangelov production, is set to be released by SoF on April 3rd.

With shows such as their TCW wrestling hour and the returning sci-fi thriller Atlantis, Rogue Net has found its place in HTG Television. With the approaching sixth season of HTG TV, there has been much discussion concerning expanding the line-ups for the networks. Recently there has been some approval among those involved to add a half hour to the end of the day. Lucian of Rogue Net is letting producers know that a half hour showing of the Muppets could be added to the Rogue line-up. Lucian’s mighty Ship of Fooles/Rogue Net empire possesses the Henson-created puppet franchise.

According to the net chief, the show could even be written by multiple producers, with each week’s episode having a different theme. A weekly parody was suggested, with episodes of Mupp Fiction or No Country for Old Muppets being possible.

Producers with ideas are encouraged to contact Lucian. A definite starting date for the next season of HTG TV has not been determined.

Less than a month has passed since the newly elected Mayor Megan Fox has taken office, but already the Wonder Woman star has found herself buried by questions.

“The job may seem glamorous,” began a city staffer, “but there’s more than attending dinners and cutting ribbons. HTG Hollywood is constantly growing and someone needs to manage that growth. Mayor Fox is a big part of that process.”

With the increase in the level of bank accounts for HTG citizens, more and more large purchases are being made. Some of these purchases involve new ventures that have not been considered before in the city’s history. Can a successful studio owner buy a space station? Can a laboratory be purchased to research growing DNA into modern dinosaurs? Can an ice cream shop be opened that serves 32 flavors instead of the boring 31?

Wishing to find the answers to these questions and others, Mayor Fox has set forth on a fact finding mission.

“Her security didn’t wish to divulge the location,” stated the staff member, “but we did notice that she had a selection of bikinis packed, along with some tanning lotion. My guess is the Caribbean. Tahiti is too windy this time of year. I’m sure we’ll hear about the trip when she returns.”

During the mayor’s absence, the city will be run by a collection of the mayor’s staff.

“We won’t be making any major decisions. If we need to double check something with Mayor Fox, we have her cell number.”

Action star Jason Statham has found himself kicking it into high gear again with the production of You Know My Name, a Mac the Movieguy production. A sequel to the successful Hollywood Swan Song, Statham played the mysterious “Man”. Will we really know his name with the new flick? The Flip Brothers and Mac have been keeping their advertising at a bare minimum so far, so that question cannot be answered yet. An inside source at FBS gave us a couple pointers for the film.

“I haven’t seen the script or any of the dailys, but you can figure that Jason’s on the run again from some baddies. He’s a kickboxing expert, so expect some hard-hitting action. Maybe some car chases and a romantic lead. I’m sure the studio will let us know soon.”

Calls to Flip Brothers Studio and Mac have not been returned. Will advertising for the film begin soon?

You Know My Name, directed by Guy Ritchie, opens on Feburary 6.

Visitors to HTG Hollywood have a lot to look at and a lot to experience. Perhaps one of the most unique experiences is a stay at the Roosevelt Hotel, AKA the Haunted Hotel. As they say about the historical downtown locale: “If you don’t believe in ghosts when you check in, you will before you check out… that is, if you check out.”

Sightings of stars of yesterday are not infrequent, according to hotel staff. Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable are just two of the alleged spirits who occupy the building.

“I was taking some towels up to the fourth floor just last week” a room service employee began. “I turned the far corner and guess who was standing there. It was Paul Reubens, Pee Wee Herman himself. Yeah, I know he’s not dead, but isn’t his career? Anyway, just a few feet behind him was floating the image of Bob Keeshan, ol’ Captain Kangaroo. I looked for Mr. Green Jeans, but didn’t see him. I wasn’t frightened, ‘cuz I see ghosts all the time here. Besides, it was Captain Kangaroo. He wouldn’t hurt anyone, would he? But Pee Wee freaked. He fled downstairs and out the front without even checking out. We had to hold his belongings for someone to pick up later… some clothes, toiletries and a few ‘magazines,’ if you know what I mean.”

According to new sightings at the hotel, recently deceased actor Ricardo Montalban has found a home at a far corner of the main lobby. Guests, when entering that part of the room, have described a “cool tropical breeze” and the feeling of “rich Corinthian leather” when they sit on one of the chairs with wool-covered cushions. An apparition of the late Washed Up and Fantasy Island star has not appeared yet, but hotel visitors are anxious to see one.

“It would be major cool, I think” commented an employee of the hotel restaurant. “I wonder if the ghost would grant wishes, just like on the TV show. If he did, I’d wish for a new car and something nice for my girl Jacquita. Maybe a new dress or something.”

Visitors to the Hotel Roosevelt are reminded that flash photography is not allowed in the building.

“Can you imagine all of those flashes going off all the time?” questioned a desk clerk. “Heck, we don’t even let those papp fools in here. We do have some decorum, you know.”

Perhaps the most-used talent in HTG Hollywood, actress Parker Posey is known for her quirky indy-style performances that have endeared her to fans. Posey has participated in seventeen projects in HTG (according to the movie database) and it seems that no end to her work is in site. Flip Brothers Studio has picked up the rights to Dog Gone Shorts, a comedy satire from Baseball Mogul’s Pedro. Not suprisingly, Posey is a part of the cast. Perhaps Posey’s greatest admirer, Pedro has employed the actress ten times out of those seventeen credits. The new role will be familiar to people who have been keeping track of her HTG work.

In Dog Gone Shorts, Posey will be providing the voice of Amy the Dog. Posey has three prior HTG credits as Amy the Dog… 2005’s Blind Money and two current films, Grand Theft Dog and Are You There, God? Based on Pedro’s own pet dog, Amy, the character tends to be foul-mouthed and leads toward violence. According to the pitch provided by Pedro for Dog Gone Shorts, which seems to keep Amy true to past form…

“Dog Gone Shorts follows a group of dogs who live in the same neighborhood as one another and have their own little intertwining short stories. Most of the stories poke fun at the real life antics that some people do, such as politics and religion. This takes place in a somewhat surreal universe, where dogs can understand each other and talk with various humans, but are still ruled by them, even if they don’t like it. The dogs are trying to make it on their own. The stories follow Sunshine, a foul mouthed cocker spaniel who is a political activist; Bradley, an intimidating black labrador who wants to “bring down the man;’ Amy, a foul mouthed golden retreiver, who eats everything in sight and her favorite past time is killing child molestors; and Jeff, a very flamboyantly homosexual chihuahua who has a man crush on Antonio Banderas.’

Coincidentally, Posey has had repeat character performances in other HTG works. Soap opera spoofs Generations and Generations 2 had Posey play Polly Goodin. In The Film Protectors and its sequel, she was Lucy Sands. Posey portrayed Gwendolyn “Wendy” Miller in Marlowe’s The Dark Side of the Moon and in the Hunt Club segment of Tales of Terror and Suspense.

Posey fans won’t have to wait long for Dog Gone Shorts. The John Waters directed film is scheduled for March 13.

It’s official, time to gather your nomination for the newest HTG Awards is here. Instructions on how to do so can be found here. The awards are granted two times a year (despite the “annual awards” in the title) to the best in film, journalism, critique and creative. Now’s the time to go over the possibilities (link to eligible list of movies is in the message) to see if any stick out in your mind.

Nomination voting will last approximately one week. Good luck!

Always wishing to please toy collectors throughout HTG Hollywood, stores have recently announced the upcoming Roads Masterson action figure, based on the dark hero portrayed by Luke Perry in Eat S*** and Die. The horror/comedy film also starred Pauly Shore as the hapless porn theater janitor known as the Jizzmopper.

“We’ve completed the first prototype,” stated a nearby toy manufacturer. “Expect the Roads figure on the shelves soon. I’m sure that Pedro fans will be knocking down the doors when it arrives.”

UPDATE: The Roads Masterson action figure is on sale now at the Mega Mart toy department. Get yours while supplies last.

Taking art from Geech this time. Man, what a funny comic it was.