Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

The New Year has found us with much to be thankful for in 2009, as 2008 ends with a successful bang. Various events highlighted the year, from the advent of HTG Version 3.4 to successful seasons of HTG TV to record breaking performances at the box office. New city leader Megan Fox brought in 2009 at a party thrown by her supporters and many fans. When asked what her first official declaration would be for HTG Hollywood, Miss Fox was excited.

“I’m going to declare January 1 an official holiday” she proclaimed, holding a half-empty bottle of champagne. “We can get to work starting January 2. Oh, wait, that’s a Friday and there are no new movies coming out. Let’s wait ’til Monday. What’s that, the 5th? Yeah, the 5th. Let’s get to work on January 5. Unless you’re hungover. Then go ahead and sleep in. I wouldn’t want anyone to go to work not feeling up to snuff. Go ahead and wait until the 6th. Come January 6, it’s onward for HTG Hollywood!”

When asked which of exiting Mayor Harmer’s proposed tax spending ideas she was most behing on, Mayor Fox shrugged.

“I don’t think we need a prison, because we already have a jail. And we don’t need another airport. If people want to fly somewhere, they can always buy a house in Malibu, right? And we already have that hospital. I’m not sure. Maybe Chrissiepoo can keep the money in the city funds and we’ll come up with something later. Happy New Year everybody!”

After five successful seasons on HTG TV, cop action thriller Badge of Justice may have found its biggest source of news yet. According to rumors flaring across HTG Hollywood, sexy featured player Gina Gershon and new addition Henry Gibson are a romantic item.

“We really didn’t notice until someone pointed out how often ol’ Henry was used this season” stated an assistant on the KrisGreet produced show. “He was only slated to be a guest star, but he appeared in a total of five episodes. That made him a cast regular. It turns out that Henry hadn’t shown up to work. He was just there to see Gina.”

Some people have pointed out that Gershon is half of Gibson’s age.

“I hope he’s stocked up on those blue pills” commented one observor of the situation.

“I think it gives hope to older guys who like younger gals” said a middle-aged HTG resident who wished to remain anonymous. “If Henry Gibson can score like that, maybe I do stand a chance with our new mayor. Woo hoo!”

Badge of Justice, plus its spin-off Badge of Justice: Las Vegas, are Kris Greet productions aired on the Flip Brothers Television network.

2009 has yet to arrive and HTG Hollywood’s new mayor has already found television work to take advantage of the bonuses available to her. Preparing for the next season of HTG TV, Flip Brothers TV co-head PJ Flip has hired Megan Fox to participate in the new show The Nobody’s. Happening staffer Bob managed a sit-down with PJ to quiz him on the show.

Bob: Thanks for meeting with me, dude. I know how busy you are.

PJ: Hi.

Bob: Flip Brothers Television has nailed down some talents for the next season of television. At the top of the paid list is Megan Fox, who will take over the leadership of our city at the beginning of the year. You’ve called the show “The Nobody’s”. The Nobody’s what? The Nobody’s TV Show? The Nobody’s Sexy Neighbor? The Nobody’s ‘87 Oldsmobile? It would help to know what, so we could think ahead.

PJ: Hi.

Bob: Why did you choose Miss Fox for the cast? The bonuses available? Her star power? Her acting in the hit Miracle Pictures kinda-sorta-anthology White Possum Scream? Her starring role in superhero flick Wonder Woman?

PJ: Hi.

Bob: If you were taking an afternoon stroll along Lake O and saw two people drowning… your brother Ritchie and mega yumness Megan Fox, who would you save first?

PJ: Hi.

Bob: It looks like Horror Hour will be returning next season. Will you be helping Ritchie with some of the producing?

PJ: Hi.

Bob: There has been discussion on either adding some more time to the next TV schedule or adding a fourth TV network. Do you feel that either is necessary, or do we have enough time available for television shows? Would the current time given be enough for the net heads to pick the best of the shows pitched to them?

PJ: Hi.

Bob: Last summer’s Terminator: Reboot was a successful extension of the powerhouse franchise. Will you be adding a sequel to Reboot?

PJ: Hi.

Bob: You did an episode of Cooking With Cassy. Do you spend time at home cooking or do you prefer going out? If you do cook, what is it that you prefer working on? I’m guessing pasta, hmm?

PJ: Hi.

Bob: Thanks much for taking the time, ocho. Good luck on your upcoming endeavors.

PJ: Hi.

Either that or he’ll be forced to post more pics like the above. For shame.

“We came out with 8 films in 6 months with 3 different studios with a lot of success” stated TLM head Goose, “but I think everyone got overloaded with our films. We’re going to put out another 8 films, but they’ll be spread out over 2009.”

Goose is ready to begin publicizing some of those projects.

“Teen comedy ‘Pest & Andy Go To Summer Camp’ is set for release with Lake Hope Features, and Sci-Fi/ Action film ‘To Live Again’ with Miracle Pictures, but dates haven’t been set yet. And I’ve got sequels to TimeSplitters and Wonder Woman set for the summer. Other than that, I’ve got 2 originals and 2 adaptations in the works.”

TLM Productions currently has “Wonder Woman” and “A Simple Misunderstanding” in theaters, plus “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” on DRTV, Wednesdays at 10:00.

A last minute casting decision has landed Kathy Ireland, a member of the Hollywood Stars Football Team, a role in the new Lake Hope Features/Legacy Filmworks zombie movie Pandemic. According to insiders, Kathy replaced Teresa Palmer in the role of Maria halfway through filming. Apparently her character had been rewritten to be much older then Teresa, so a new actress had to be brought in.

“I’m thankful for this opportunity” said Kathy during a press conference held by Lake Hope Features to help promote the movie.

Although details on her character are being kept under wraps, sources say that it’s prominent enough to merit her role in the top 4. Also joining Kathy is J. Larose and Alan Van Sprang, the latter recently completing a stint on the DRTV show The Crazies. J. Larose is set to play a clerk named Mikey, while Van Sprang will be playing an army private named Hudson.

Pandemic is opening this Friday.

There is still time to participate in the Guess the Actor! contest sponsored by Lake Hope Features at this link. The winner will receive 5 million dollars.

“Hey, Bishop and I just toilet papered Graham’s house.”

The call came after midnight, long after I had retired for the evening. I’d made sure that all the pets had been fed. The pools and hot tubs were in good working order. I finally convinced that bum who had pitched a tent up on the driveway of my central HTG Hollywood house to move on to non-concrete pastures. (I hear he’s camping out at Lassie Park now. I’ll drop him off a sandwich and dog biscuits later.) I had most definitely fallen asleep. I remember dreaming that ScarJo had figured out she had made a mistake marrying that Reynolds fellow and had sought comfort in my loving arms. But the phone call stopped that. Thanks. (/endsarcasm)

It took me a moment. It usually takes me a few minutes to get my act together after being woke up. It was Lucian, the head honcho of Ship of Fooles.

“Lucian, it’s late” I complained. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“You mean today. It’s already tomorrow.”

“Whatever. I’m going back to bed.”

I hung the phone up and managed to return to the Sandman’s embrace quickly. But no dreams of Scarlett. Sigh. Early the next evening I dropped by Lucian’s production office, where he was checking on weekend receipts for his latest PPV, TCW: Excessive Force.

“Dude,” I began, “What’s the dealio with waking me up last night about vandalizing JG’s place?”

“Oh, sorry,” Lucian would reply. “I was drunk.”

“Obviously. No one with any responsibility would TP a house sober.”

“Oh, no, I would sober.”

“Must be a Canadian thing. But you were drunk?”

“Yeah. Bish and I had tossed down a bottle of this, a bottle of that.”

“A night as usual?”

“Yeah, I guess. We were upset at JGraham.”

“What for?”

“He was ignoring us.”

“Did it occur to you that he might not have been around to hear you?”

“Nah, he heard us. He was just ignoring us.”

“So you got drunk and toilet papered his house.”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“What do you mean, kinda?”

“We got the wrong house.”

That was worth an exchange of laughs, I suppose.

“The wrong house? Whose house did you get?”

“I don’t know. We can’t remember which house we got. But I drove by JG’s place this morning and I knew we had blundered.”

“You know, that’s one of the reasons why I don’t drink. Makes you do stupid things.”

“I think we’ll be all right as long as the owner of the house we did get doesn’t know it was us.”

In other news, the house of Mayor Chris Harmer was assaulted in the wee hours last night when unknown assailants threw bathroom tissue all over his property.

“I won’t rest until I discover who the evil doers are” vowed the soon-to-be-ex-city leader. “I will see justice!”