Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

According to the hair stylist to an associate of a friend of a representative of Pink Moon Productions exexutive Marty, the producer has entered a rehab facility for sex addiction. According to the hair stylist’s sister’s best friend’s fitness coach:

Marty has voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. He asks for respect and privacy for the other members of the Slacker Mafia as they deal with this situation.

Marty, returning from an absence to HTG Hollywood, was last seen in the 2007 hit Americatown. His last production was The 4th of July in 2006. Will this put a delay in his newest projects?

“I doubt it,” said a Slacker Mafia insider who wished to remain anonymous. “He’ll get lit and bang that thing out in a few days. No problem.”

News coming out of TLM Productions is that the Untitled Action Flick Goose and Quantum have kept a secret is an adaptation of the video game TimeSplitters. Vin Deisel, Brad Pitt, Daniel Craig, Lacey Chabert and Milla Jovovich have already been signed to the project.


“Q and I are buying the franchise,” stated Goose, “and we’re looking to put together a trilogy based on the game.” But why all the secrecy? “Timing. With all of the other films coming out so close together, we wanted to take our time with it. With all the action and visual effects, we knew we couldn’t just hammer this out in a couple weeks.”


No date has been set yet, but late October is being considered. “We’re very excited about this film and look forward to getting this in theaters.”

Rogue Net head, as well as Ship of Fooles chief, Lucian Carter was recently seen taking a meeting at Flip Brothers Pizza. His guest was none other than star of Eragon and Green Arrow ,Ving Rhames. The two tried to keep their business secret, but a nearby patron was using a Listen-In® portable listening device (as advertised on television) and was able to overhear a large part of the conversation.

RHAMES: You have to get me into TCW. I love it! I want to be involved in any way I can.

CARTER: Well, Ving… I can call you Ving right? I can let you guest ring announce at TCW Excessive Force.

RHAMES: I’d love to fight.

CARTER: No way, Ving, I’m not paying those insurance premiums. You get involved in the action at your own risk.

RHAMES: Suits me fine.

CARTER: There is one thing I should tell you that may make you change your mind.

RHAMES: Nothing will keep me away.

CARTER: Don’t be so sure.

RHAMES: What is it?

CARTER: Excessive Force is going to be held inside the famous Folsome County Prison. The entire audience will be made up of inmates. And who knows how they’ll react to the excitement of TCW. There may be a riot.

RHAMES: A riot? Really? That would do wonders for my rep.

CARTER: Assuming you survive.

RHAMES: Either way. If I die, I’ll become huge. Like Tupac.

CARTER: Suit yourself. So tell me why in the hell did you do Eragon anyway?

…At this point, the patron with the Listen-In® was kicked out for loitering, so we were unable to capture any more information. But this certainly is big news!

Remember you can stop by Flip Pizza any time day or night and, if you buy a slice, you’re guaranteed to meet a celebrity eager to work with you! Flip Pizza, the best damn Italian food in HTG.

In case you aren’t aware of it, and for some reason you come to this rag to get all your HTG info, HTG Radio hit the airwaves today. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the man behind What’s Happening in HTG Town and Miracle Pictures has expanded to radio. Give him a TV station and he can probably run for mayor.

Now, I’m no reporter, and I’m pretty sure since the guy who does the radio show owns a newspaper, I think it’s a safe bet that you’ll hear more informed, detailed and interesting news of this new addition to HTG by those who know what they’re doing. Me, I just like that I scooped out everyone else. Bwahaha!

Anyway, you can hear the first broadcast by going here and the second installment here. Personally, I found it entertaining, informative, plus I’m mentioned.

During the filming of the upcoming Lake Hope Features action film “Taking Back the Day,” leading actress Christina Ricci had no problem taking off her clothes for a steamy nude sex scene involving her co-star Gerard Butler. It wasn’t until after filming that problems started to occur on the Renny Harlin film.

“She watched the clip,” stated a representative of Ricci. “And she was mislead into how the scene was going to be filmed. She decided to sue Lake Hope Features and TLM Productions for damages, unless they drop the scene altogether.”

When asked about the speculation behind the lawsuit, LHF head Quantum made a quick statement. “It’s true, she did put forth a lawsuit” the busy studio chief stated. “But it was dropped from the courts.”

Apparently, according to an insider, the case was dropped after a contract turned up sporting Ricci’s signature, stating that she could not alter the state of the movie and agreed to the nude scenes.

When reporters asked producer Goose about the lawsuit, he simply replied “Renny and I are cutting the film together right now and we have not heard any news about a lawsuit.”

Whether the scene makes it to theatres or not, be sure to expect a DVD extra of the scene if it doesn’t.

The action-packed Taking Back the Day. a Lake Hope Features release of a TLM Productions film, comes out this Friday.

Flip Brothers Studio has just released a snippet of the new Stephen Frears film Our Mutual Friend. The portion of the movie features Brendan Gleeson and Emily Blunt in a set-up to what appears to be a very creepy film.

EXT. THE THAMES RIVER - EVENING

The sun is setting. A rowboat gently moves across the calm waters. A strong man in his forties rows the boat; this is GAFFER HEXAM (Brendan Gleeson). His daughter, LIZZIE HEXAM (Emily Blunt), is with him. She is breathtakingly beautiful. Lizzie rows as well, although not nearly as well as her father.

GAFFER
Keep her out, Lizzie. Tide runs strong here. Keep her well afore the sweep of it.

As Lizzie rows, one of the ores hits a dead body. She shivers. Gaffer looks over at her.

GAFFER
What is it? I don’t see anything.

LIZZIE
A dead body.

GAFFER
Where?

LIZZIE
(looking around)
It’s gone now.

GAFFER
Be more on it next time! You know what dead bodies are worth in the trade. You know how poor we are.

LIZZIE
I know, father.

They continue to row. Gaffer then discovers a dead body in the river on his side. The Thames River really is ugly and disgusting around these parts. Gaffer brings the dead body into the boat. Lizzie is a bit scared.

GAFFER
Get over it, child!

The dead body is a MALE. In his right hand he is clutching coins very tightly. Gaffer blows on it, then spits on it. Lizzie looks at her father, confused. He looks up at her, noticing.

GAFFER
For luck.

Gaffer then puts the money in his pocket. Lizzie put on her cloak hood, trying to hide.

“Cool, dead bodies” remarked one movie viewer after witnessing the footage. “This could lead in all sorts of different directions. I’ll be keeping my eye out for how this develops.”

Our Mutual Friend opens on September 12.

It took little time for actor Matthew McConaughey to revert to his bohemian ways after a press conference by Superman producer KrisGreet.

“Yeah, he went through a couple bottles of tequila like they were Kool Aid,” remarked a visitor at a party on HTG Hollywood’s sandy southern shore. “He had some bongos and beat on them for a couple hours, lit up some cigs of “dubious distinction” and then passed out on the beach. No one knew who to call, so we just let him sleep there. I’m guessing he’s all right. There’s no report of him in the paper being dead like that Tara Reid-Bishop double.”

Does McConaughey’s behavior disturb the operator of Random FX Productions?

“What Matthew does in his spare time is his business,” answered a spokesman for Random. “As long as he shows for production and performs like we know he will, everything’s cool.”

TLM Productions head Goose made the announcement today that he has inked Eric Bana to play Steve Trevor in the upcoming blockbuster Wonder Woman, to be released by Flip Brothers Studio.

“We had him back a couple times to make sure he was the right guy” Goose said. “Eric and Megan (Fox, scheduled to portray the superheroine) seemed to have the right chemistry. We moved right away to sign him. Right now we’re waiting on a date for filming, because the Flips are really busy with other projects, and we’re inclined to take our time with this.”

In the meantime, TLM is in full swing with two pictures already in theatres, LHF’s Oildale and Miracle Pictures’ Someone to Play With. Two more Goose movies are set for release within three weeks, including the Gerard Butler actioneer Taking Back the Day (also with Lake Hope Features).

“I came here to be the hardest working man in town and the HTG studios are putting me to the test. I’m not about to let up.”

He has produced several HTG TV series and penned the acclaimed adaptation of Inherit the Wind that graced the big screens in 2007. Now long-time HTG Hollywood resident Mac the Movieguy wants to give his audience the shivers.

Duality is a new horror film to be released by Ship of Fooles Studio on September 12. It features Josh Lucas, Evangeline Lily, Bryan Cox and the producer himself in non-nom de plume John Clayton. The story centers around the evil happenings in a small town when visitors drop by an road-side hotel.

“The idea came from a dream I had,” Mac explained. “I was really excited about it and immediately started working on the film.”

Protesters from OOHH, the Organization of Opticians in HTG Hollywood, have already filed a grievance against the production because of the initial poster.

“It’s going to make a number of people have bad vision” complained an OOHH spokesman. “Look at it! I mean, don’t look at it! Argh! You know what I mean!”

After four years of being one of HTG Hollywood’s most notable citizens, Ritchie Steven has finally opened a production office. Located near the Flip Brothers Studio that he co-runs with his brother, the office holds an animation studio.

“I’m more than wiling to outsource that,” remarked RS as he checked out his new digs. “An animation studio enables the making of one animated film a month at a third of the cost, which is 50 million dollars. It’s a great way to save some cash will putting together an animated project.”

Ritchie remained silent concerning future endeavors for his production company.

“Right now I’m really concentrating on the award-winning RS Creative. I’m really proud of what has been accomplished there and hope to get more of that work out to the masses.”