The Inside Scoop
Bob here. You may not have seen my mug gracing this HTG news source for two years now, but I’ve been around. The Happening EIC has sent me on plenty of assignments. Usually they involve places around the city burning down. The former home of the former mayor. A restaurant-turned-missing-person headquarters. The mansion of a beloved martial arts/entertainment icon.
Two years ago I told HTG producers how to save a couple coins through “creative casting.” This time I’m going to pass on a secret that’ll get some lucky joes a buck or two. There are a lot of new residents to HTG Hollywood, so I figure the advice is timely. Are you ready?
Review HTG TV shows. It’s easy. You can post ‘em right on the HTG message board in the proper forum. Here’s what you do, in three easy steps:
1) Give a general sypnosis of the show. Paraphrase what happened. Give a quote or two. Mention the talents. A paragraph is fine; two or three are better. It makes the review look longer (’cuz it is) and most people don’t read reviews anyway. They just figure that, since the review is lengthy, you put some thought into it.
2) Say if you liked the show, if you thought it was mediocre, or if you didn’t care for it at all. Not liking it is the most fun, because you get to use special words like “craptastic” or “craptacular.”
3) Rate the show in some sort of way using sixth grade fractions. Three stars out of five? Two pieces of popcorn out of four? Rating a police show? How ’bout three-and-a-half badges out of five. That’ll look especially creative. As an alternative, you can give the ol’ thumbs up/thumbs down. But that’s been done to death, even on the message board.
There you have it! Your TV show review is written. Do it several times and you’ll be raking in some nice coin. Heck, you don’t even have to watch the show if you’re in a hurry. Just read the first and last sentences of each paragraph and the joining dialogue. You’ll get what the program is about with little problem.
Good luck and let’s see some TV reviews!
