Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

In an announcement made this morning at the Miracle Pictures lot, the studio, Top Hat Productions and World Wrestling Entertainment have teamed up to promote their upcoming products.

“We’re pleased to be a sponsor of WWE’s pay-per-view this weekend, One Night Stand” explained MP chief Marlowe. “As the leader in sports entertainment, we’re thrilled to have WWE help us with our upcoming film, Battle Royale. We’re glad that the wrestling world will be using the theme and hope to get the attention of possible new ticket buyers.”

Battle Royale is Andrew Newman’s next project, the second with Miracle Pictures. They worked together to bring The Last Town on Earth to theatres last year. The film became an HTG Award winner for the young Top Hat operator.

Battle Royale, directed by Bryan Singer, is set for a June 20 release.

Ship of Fooles and DCE spent considerable time agonizing over one particular role in the upcoming action film G.I. Joe. That role was computer expert Mainframe, one of the heroes of G.I. Joe. The part was filled by Emile Hirsh. G.I. Joe will be the California native’s sixth HTG film appearance, joining Sunshine (2006), The Last Vampire (2006), Hearts of Men (2006), XO (2005) and Salvation (2005). Hirsh hopes this film will mark a comeback and launch another string of roles after a two year absence from the virtual theaters.

Hirsh joins other cast members Val Kilmer (Duke), Ralph Fiennes (pulling double duty as the masked Cobra Commander and the master of disguise Zartan), Vin Diesel (Destro), Amy Adams (Scarlett) and former WWE wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin (Gung Ho). With such a huge cast, could G.I. Joe hope to make money?

“Along with the cast,” SoF chief Lucian Carter explained at a recent press conference, “the final budget was worked out. Long-time critic, but first time producer, DCE had a lot of items, production company perks, medical insurance perks, talent vouchers, awards and, of course, the most impressive car collection in all of HTG. With all of that taken into consideration, the total budget of the film worked out to just $2,010,500. Shot on Ship of Fooles’ action backlot, this big-cast blockbuster ends up costing less than most arthouse films.”

“There are lessons to be learned from this,” Lucian continued with a grin. “First, being a critic helps you in other areas of the game. Second, cars, items and other frills can make a difference to your film’s success and its bottom line.”

G.I. Joe will prescreen to selected critics starting May 30th and will open worldwide June 6th. DCE is hoping his first film will also be his first blockbuster.

“Are you kidding me?” exclaimed an excited camo-clad moviegoer. “You know the thing’s going to be a smash from day one. Go Joe!”

Another HTG Hollywood resident has taken Men at Work Construction up on their first Summer 2008 promotion. Miracle Pictures chief Marlowe has invited Americatown co-star Alia Shawkat to kick up her heels at the pool house on his primary residence. Once occupied by Cruisified star Wilmer Valderrama, the actor moved on when the comedy propelled his Talent Score above the maximum allowed for his pool house stay. A small fee allowed Shawkat to move on in. Does Marlowe have any plans for the young actress?

“She’s in an MP film coming shortly,” the long-time HTG citizen informed us. “But it’s not one that I’m personally producing, so I can’t get her to do the work for free. I do, however, have a couple other things in mind for her. I’m sure we’ll have a good working relationship for some time to come.”

HTG homeowners are invited to take advantage of the Men at Work offer while it lasts. The second offer from MaW is coming soon.

Raimi TV classic Xena: Warrior Princess has been leased by Rotor Productions for 6 months. Author of The Eighth Day of the Week, now in theatres, theories have already emerged about who the Bulletproof frontman will have portray the star, if not the original, Lucy Lawless.

Topping the guesses is Rotor favorite, French-American actress Arielle Dombasle. Appearing in each of Rotor’s original HTG Hollywood works, what are the odds that he has already slated her for the Xena role? Or will he place her in a supporting position?

Other guesses include Battlestar Galactica’s Katee Sackhoff and professional wrestling diva Beth Phoenix.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing someone out of the ordinary as Xena,” commented one visitor to HTG_Chat. “An actress like Kristanna Loken or Diane Kruger would definitely be different and exciting.”

Stay tuned for further comment as soon as Rotor enters production of his new endeavor.

UPDATE: Rotor has informed this reporter that Arielle Dombasle will not be portraying Xena, though he did not rule out her taking another role in the film.

Since the purchase of Saturday Night Live several weeks ago, Miracle Pictures has yet to announce the production of a feature based on the television franchise. Is the property another money drain for the same studio that owns Monty Python, yet hasn’t released any product based on the British comedy?

“No, I definitely have some things in mind,” MP chief Marlowe offered at the Happening offices on Monday. “In fact, I have the first part of a movie started that concerns an SNL character. Maybe I’ll finish it one of these days.”

Marlowe did mention that he is open to producers who have ideas based on franchises that he and the studio possess.

“Sure, I’d love to hear what writers have to offer. Just give me a holler. I check my email between naps.”

Few HTG Hollywood residents have taken Men at Work Construction up on their first summertime offer, which involves a pool, pool house and pool house guest. This saddens Manhatten is My Beat actor DJ Qualls.

“I could use a place to shack up for a while,” the nearly-30-year-old remarked over drinks at Club Siberia. “I just need that one big role to come my way before I can get some fancy digs of my own, you know?”

Men at Work is promising more special promotions soon.

“Lotsa things to spend yer bucks on,” said a MaW spokesman. “Keep an eye on the message boards for the next offer.”

“Pizza is on the way.”

Lucian Carter of Ship of Fooles Studio made the announcement on Saturday in HTG_Chat. The studio head did not, however, explain his comment. A spy from What’s Happening made his way onto the SoF studio lot to investigate. Apparently, Lucian was speaking about a new film.

“Lucian really needed to get some wheels agoin’ after the HALO misfortune,” reported the Happ staffer. “They’re already in production on a new movie with the working title ‘Pizza.’ It’s one of those Wes Anderson-style comedies starring Jason Schwartzman and Simon Pegg, though I haven’t been able to determine if Anderson is really directing. Lucain hopes to capitalize on the buzz surrounding Teufel’s Pizza Tycoon movie. But, instead of gansters operating pizza joints, this new film is about out-of-work superheroes who open their own pizzeria. It sounds interesting. With that and DCE’s GI Joe movie coming out, it looks like Lucian won’t be needing HALO right away.”

Calls to the SoF offices were unanswered as of this posting.

It was one of the most anticipated movies of early 2008. It had received good buzz from moviegoers and the press. But, for reasons that are not completely known, HALO will not see its May 23 release.

According to Ship of Fooles Studio chief Lucian Carter, producer Justin Graham did not get the film to him in time before the writer left for a two-week trip.

“I’m not pleased,” commented Lucian, who had to pay a hefty fine for the last-minute pull from the calendar. “My biggest fear is that Graham sent the script and it got lost via email failure or something stupid like that. It’s not like him to not come through.”

However, fans eager to see HALO can rejoice in the fact that Lucian does plan on getting it to theatres in the future, once communication with JGraham is restored.

Next up for Ship of Fooles Studio is car collector DCE’s GI Joe film, his first big screen feature in HTG Hollywood. Prescreening is planned for May 30.

PJ isn’t the only producer releasing on June 13th. Quantum’s Lake Hope Features is releasing Aussie T’s arthouse action flick titled Cyc. According to Q…

“How can one man change a world of darkness when he can’t even change himself? Playboy Aaron Addison’s (Taylor Kitsch) life is torn apart after a near fatal accident. Walking the line between light and dark, he must become more then a man to save a city filled with corruption. He must become Cyc.”

Vinnie Jones is set to co-star, with Greg Beeman directing.

“Ooh, I love Vinnie Jones!” exclaimed an excited moviegoer when he heard the above news. “As long as he doesn’t growl ‘I’m the Juggernaut, bitch’, I’ll be happy.”

The new promotion by Men at Work Construction has brought in one customer this weekend, Flip Brothers co-chief PJFlip. Purchasing a pool and pool house for both his small home and his mansion, PJ has invited uberbabe Megan Fox and blonde cutie Kristen Bell to stay for a while.

Due to the extremely graphic nature of Megan Fox in a bikini, we at Happening have instead posted the above picture of the Transformers star. “Holy schamoly!” exclaimed staffer Bob, who fell out of his office chair when he saw the swimsuit pix. “I’m going to have to put in my notice and get hired on as PJ’s pool boy!”

Men at Work will continue to run the pool house special through the end of August, as well as other specials during the summer months.

Transformers/Prison Break actor Amaury Nolasco is among the cast of the upcoming Flip Brothers film Terminator: Reboot. The Puerto Rico native, a member of the HTG Hollywood Stars, will have to leave the baseball team in order to complete filming. The PJFlip feature is host to a number of other talented stars: Kate Hudson, Uma Thurman, Nathan Fillion, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eliza Dushku, Skeet Ulrich, Christian Bale, Naomi Watts, Jensen Ackles, Jonathan Jackson, Brian Austin Greene, Bruce Campbell and Sara Paxton. Superdirector James Cameron is set to helm the movie.

“We’re really really excited about PJ’s vision of the franchise,” remarked a spokesman from Flip Brothers Studio. “The Terminator is a science fiction cornerstone. PJ has put a lot of his heart and soul into this. We know that moviegoers won’t be disappointed.”

Terminator: Reboot is scheduled for June 13.

From the desk of Chris Harmer, Mayor of HTG Hollywood:

Hey, all

Just letting you know that I’m heading down to Sacramento and area tomorrow for two weeks to chill and relax. I know, I wasn’t around much anyways… but damnit, have the decency to miss me!

Will try to get on now and then while I’m down there though.

Ja ma ta, ne?

It is to be expected that a hard-working city administrator would need some time off now and then to get the kinks out of the ol’ body. Running HTG Hollywood has got to be hard work. But who will be in charge of our fine city, with Mayor Harmer off on his vacation from duty?

Who will keep watch over the southern shore, making sure that the security forces from Bryan Bishop’s Island of Terror and Fat-Free Butter Substitute won’t march on us? Who will keep the riff-raff off the streets and in the clubs where they belong? Who will defend us from the impending infestation of hobarks? These are among the many questions that Happening has for our relaxing mayor.

We feel that it is the duty of each and every HTG Hollywood citizen to do his part to keep the city running during Mayor Harmer’s absence. Let’s make sure that he has a place to come back to when his sabbatical from his responsibilities is complete.

Marcus Trax, fresh off the red carpet of the release of Star Wars Episode XI: Mystery of the Sith, is writing his next project and is going to start shooting soon.

The project, with the working title ‘Passing Judgments’, is going to be a short script of under 20 pages. It has been announced that Robert Redford is going to direct.

Redford is currently on the Hollywood Stars Baseball team. His move to direct Trax’s next project will mean he will leave the team. A replacement for Redford’s position of right field has yet to be announced.