Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

Just two days before the announcement of his return, former HTG Hollywood resident CS Wood has decided to return to his home elsewhere. In a secret set of negotiations over the last two months, Wood was set to produce and do artwork for Goat Story. This would mark his follow-up to Truth Takes Time, which was released in November of 2004.

“It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess” commented Miracle Pictures chief Marlowe, who had hoped to deliver Goat Story. “It was an exciting concept — A talking goat who made a living banishing evil spirits. There would be a couple twists here and there. But Wood kept insisting on turning the film that he initially proposed into a lesbian gunfest. I vetoed that. He finally had it and left.”

Will HTG Hollywood moviegoers be seeing Goat Story without the aid of CS Wood?

“I doubt it,” concluded Marlowe. “It is his property. Although the idea can be altered somewhat and used here, I think we can kiss Goat C. goobye.”

An HTG producer is breathing easier now, thanks to a court order issued by HTG court officials. British diva Amy Winehouse has been ordered to stay at least 100 feet from Ghost Story author Bryan Bishop. According to a secret source at 10K Cases Productions, Winehouse has been bothering the Terror Island owner for the last few weeks. Although the attention by a drunken, drug-induced wild woman would normally be appreciated by the producer, Bishop was too involved in the post-production of Ghost Story to have time for the singer.

“She turned up everywhere that Mr. Bishop was” explained the 10K source. “Bryan was just too busy for her rambling, her stumbling about. Security had their hands full with her. It took a court order to finally get her on a plane back to England.”

One HTG Hollywood movie insider has another theory concerning the Bishop-Winehouse relationship.

“I remember when Bishop got his idea for Ghost Story. He said he had a dream about a woman that really shook him to the core. I’m thinking that it wasn’t a dream, but that creepy Winehouse sneaking into his bedroom while Bish was sleeping. Wouldn’t that scare the you-know-what out of you, if you woke up with her standing over your bed?”

Ghost Story, a Ship of Fooles release, opens this Friday.

What’s Happening in HTG Town was recently presented with a portion of a script, which can be read here. The person who sent the document, wishing to remain anonymous, would not answer questions about the source of the script.

After running through the 4 1/2 pages, we are guessing that it is a portion of the new Halo film, coming from Ship of Fooles and Justin Graham, late in May. Or is it? Calls to both SoF and JG have been unanswered.

“I hear the sucka’s going to be at least 120 pages,” remarked a movie fan looking forward to the movie. “If this is an actual portion of the Halo script, it’s going to be action-packed, that’s for sure!”

With HTG Version 3 making its way through its initial month, big plans are under way at Men at Work Construction. According to supervisors at HTG Hollywood’s number one builders, various specials will be promoted this summer. Among the promotions, the popular pool house guest special will be returning. Also, deals concerning hot tubs and ornamental ponds are planned.

“We’re thrilled that the people at Men at Work are… working… with residents to better our city,” commented a representative from Mayor Harmer’s office. “There’s a lot of options out there for property owners. We’re sure that there will be something for everyone.”

The first construction special is scheduled to come soon.

Sometimes success does not translate to the reality of HTG Hollywood. Although a worldwide success portraying Hannah Montana on television, on stage and on the radio, young actress/singer Miley Cyrus has yet to find happiness in our fine city. With no HTG credit to her name, Miley recently sought support from someone who has found much success here… Ghost Story writer Bryan Bishop. But, much to the teenager’s disappointment, 10K Cases officials are denying her access to the producer.

Insiders at the Cyrus camp have mentioned to this reporter that revenge is on Miley’s mind. With season 4 of HTG Television coming soon, the youth has formulated a plan. Ship of Fooles’ wrestling series TCW will be the place for the rejected Miley to gain satisfaction.

“She’s found a gargantuan man to run down Hawaiian Bryan,” explained the inside source. “He’s huge. Absolutely huge. Miley has paid him big dollars to take Bishop out of the picture completely. I don’t know if TCW will allow the giant man into any of their venues. But if they do, there’s going to be some serious chaos.”

Miley Cyrus and unidentified man hired to hurt HTG producer

Calls to the 10K Cases offices concerning this matter have not been returned. However, it is assumed that Bryan Bishop is aware of the threat that may face him.

Bishop’s newest release, Ghost Story, a Ship of Fooles feature, opens May 2.

The romantic (mis)adventures of Island of Terror and Two Pairs of Eyeglasses for $99.99 owner Bryan Bishop continue, thanks to rumors begun last weekend. Emma Watson, co-star of 2004’s DomMVP production The Giver, celebrated her 18th birthday by attending a special party thrown in a corner of HTG’s Sharkeys Arcade. Celebrating with the young actress was our favorite heavy-set filmmaker, Bryan Bishop. After hours of imbibing champagne and attempting to dethrone arcade champion DCE, the pair were seen leaving in one of Bishop’s luxury autos.

“They seemed like drunken schoolkids,” remarked an observer. “They were giggling like crazy, shoving on each other and cracking jokes. I’m not saying that Bishop had his hands all over Emma. But the windows of that limo were blackened. Who knows what happened once they got in?”

Representatives of 10K Cases Productions had a more mundane explanation for the witnessed event.

“Mr. Bishop only wished for Miss Watson to have a happy birthday. That’s all. The limousine ride was merely a courtesy provided by our company. Don’t forget — Mr. Bishop is a married man. His heart is with his wife. Any other notions are inflammatory and not worth merit.”

Bryan Bishop’s next feature, Ghost Story, opens on May 2. It is a Ship of Fooles release.

There have been only a few teasers and a little talk around town about Ship of Fooles’ June 6th GI Joe release. As a first time producer, DCE of Shamrock Productions has been keeping the plot of the film, the casting choices, and even the title of the release under wraps – until now.

After much debate, the title of the film was finally decided. Since the story will really be following the creation of the GI Joe team and the new terrorist organization, COBRA, the film will be titled GI Joe: The Rise of COBRA.

The film will follow the organizing of the GI Joe team as the United States tries to counter a series of COBRA attacks all over the country. While the Joe team will be the focus of the film, there will be some insight on the COBRA organization and the behind-the-scenes power plays between the four groups within COBRA.

Shamrock Productions is able to confirm which of the COBRAs and Joes will be in the film. On the COBRA side: COBRA Commander (in his hooded outfit), Major Blood, Destro (steel mask and all), the Baroness, Tomax and Xamot, Dr. Mindbender, plus an appearance by Zartan and some of his Drednoks.

On the Joe side, there will be Admiral Flagg and General Hawk leading the team from Washington DC, with Duke leading the squads in the field. The team will include Breaker (the communication expert), Mainframe (the computer expert), Rock ‘n Roll (the heavy machine gunner), Stalker (ex-Ranger), Lifeline (the pacifist medic), Gung-Ho (a marine), Wild Bill (helicopter pilot), Cover Girl (Wolverine driver), Dusty (desert trooper), and Lowlight (team sniper).

A full casting announcement will be made at the beginning of May. However, DCE was able to confirm a few of the casting decisions a little earlier. The twin financial geniuses acting as the bank behind COBRA are going to be played by Neil and Adrian Rayment. These two have a strong martial arts backgrounds and can pull off the legitimate looks that Tomax and Xamot need outside of their COBRA alter-egos. On the Joe side, Jake Busey will play the heavy-metal surfer from Malibu and the Joe’s expert chopper pilot will be one of HTG’s favorites, Chuck Norris.

The rest of the casting will have to wait until May! Also, beginning in May, there will be a series of ads giving a brief background on GI Joe, COBRA and some of the individuals in the series – so on the release date no one will be left behind.

News travels quickly; bad news even quicker. With the rumors of the failing new marriage of HTG producer Bryan Bishop and actress Tara Reid, one possible new suitor has decided to seek the groom’s affections.

According to an anonymous source on Bishop’s Island of Terror and Breakfast Dollar Menu, Saving William Shatner 2 actress Jessica Simpson arrived at Bishop’s private airstrip early on Friday with hopes of meeting with the producer of the upcoming Ghost Story. But, much to the woman’s dismay, Bishop’s private security force prevented her from visiting Bishop.

“She apparently thought that bringing a large plush toy for Bishop would get her in the front door,” stated the insider. “She went on about the toy being big and cuddly, just like her ‘Bishy-poo.’ But the guards didn’t fall for it. I think that, in reality, Jessica just wants to meet with Bishop to get a film role. Her success here in HTG Hollywood has been dismal. I guess we’ll never know.”

Simpson found herself back on the airplane that brought her to the island and heading back to the mainland within fifteen minutes.

“I guess Bishop’s head is on his new movie and his current romantic problems,” concluded the insider. “He doesn’t need Jessica Simpson to add to them.”