He Was My Favorite Character on Friends. Next to Phoebe, Of Course. The Season Where She Was Preggers Was Great. Ross, However, Annoyed the Hell Out of Me. You Know, Whiney Ross. Sigh.
It seems to be a time of disappointments. Winona Ryder was arrested again, with friends using her depression over lack of acting roles as an excuse. Penn got sacked from Dancing With the Stars. Richie Sambora got arrested for drunk driving. (Add that he isn’t sleeping with Heather Locklear any longer, the poor fellow has two marks against him.) And now it’s Oscar-winning actress Jodie Foster’s turn for sorrow.
“It’s really odd,” stated a friend of Foster’s recently. “She’s got superb acting skills. She can take on a wide variety of roles. But does the male-dominated HTG Hollywood find room for her? No. It’s almost as if you have to be a teen with large tits to get a job in this town.”
Disappointment in Jodie Foster’s lack of a career in HTG exploded after a recent article in HTG Dirty. EIC Dr. Dirty declared March to be the “Month of Foster.” Apparently the actress did not read the news story, mostly concerning the new Raptor Inc. film In Savage Hell, thoroughly. When she made it to the film set, eagerly waiting to see what she would be doing, she was given the bad news.
“Miss Foster was under the impression that she was hired to participate in the production of In Savage Hell,” explained a representative from Ship of Fooles Studio. “But it was Ben Foster who had landed a role in the movie. He plays Chandler, a member of the biker gang who terrorizes a small town. When Miss Foster realized her mistake, she went nuts. Current litigation forbids me to go into detail, but let me just say that there was a handgun involved and several security guards. Not a pretty scene.”
“You know how these things get blown out of proportion,” continued the friend of Foster. “It’s like these rumors that there’s a giant shark off the coast of the city. People will believe anything if it’s crazy enough.”
In Savage Hell, a Raptor Inc. (Quantum) production of a Ship of Fooles Studio film, opens this Friday.
