Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

Insiders from Nu/Art Films are reporting that producers are stunned to find out that Clive Owen is planning to appear in Ghostwriter, being released a mere two weeks before The Eighth Circle. Rumors are swirling that this double duty is another manifestation of Owen’s dissatisfaction. However, when asked, Nu/Art’s VP of Public Relations is keeping calm. Explaining Owen’s actions, he simply shrugged and said “Method acting.” When quizzed if that meant that Owen is playing a villain, the VP just offered a smile, a shrug and a “No comment.”

Owen is still expected to retain his Top 4 role in The Eighth Circle, which opens on March 7.

One of the most eagerly expected films of the new year, Batman: To Thy Magic is mid-week in buzz voting. A 10K Cases Productions (Bryan Bishop) film to be released by Flip Brothers Studio this Friday, the film stars Casey Affleck as Bruce Wayne/The Caped Crusader, Vincent D’Onofrio as Roman Sionis/The Black Mask and Robert Downey Jr. as The Joker.

TTM has already received one review from stern critic Justin Graham. Giving the film an 83 out of 100, JG mentioned that “The action is spectacular” and that “Afflck [sic] and D’Onofrio put in mesmerizing performances.”

“It’s a great review,” commented Terror Island Owner Bishop in HTG Chat. “I’m honored that JG enjoyed the film.”

Still a mystery in HTG Hollywood is if Mayor Chris Harmer is following through with the rumored decree requiring all of the city’s residents to view the film during opening week. Calls left at the town leader’s office have been unanswered.

“I don’t care, I’m going to see it anyway,” remarked an eager movie viewer during a warm-weather visit at Lake Ohnasasi. “If I’m required to see it twice, so be it. I’ll be there with popcorn and Jujyfruits in hand.”

Batman: To Thy Magic opens this Friday and is currently in buzz voting.

February is a month for romance. Not only does it contain Valentines Day, but it will also see the return of the FM classic romantic comedy Ghostwriter. Produced by HTG Hollywood luminary Rotor and helmed by the Coen Brothers, the film will feature Arielle Dombasle, Clive Owen and Ralph Fiennes.

“Rotor’s working with Arielle again?” questioned an HTG insider when he heard the news. “How many films has he made with her? I think good ol’ Rotor has a soft spot for her.”

Indeed, Ghostwriter marks the sixth appearance of the French-American actress/singer in a Rotor film. She was nominated during the 5th HTG Awards for Best Actress, thanks to her role in Rotor’s Berlin. Besides other films such as Monster in NY, Rotor also brought A SoHo Affair to HTG, the city’s number one romance.

Released through Bulletproof Pictures, Ghostwriter is set for February 22.

Work is continuing at a brisk pace on Mark Chua’s new science fiction film The Eighth Circle. Set after The Rapture, the movie centers on the activities of a religious group called The Eighth Sphere. The film is being directed by Frank Darabont.

“Frank Darabont is disappointed that Inherit The Wind did not earn him a Best Director nomination,” mentioned Mark during a recent special exhibit of the films of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen at the HTG Museum. “He is working extra, extra hard on The Eighth Circle.”

Not everyone, though, is putting his best effort in, according to the Nu/Art chief.

“Clive Owen is giving a cold shoulder to virtually everyone on set. He is not too pleased being roped into the film for free, in exchange for a one-night pool house stay. Plus his previous film with the us knee-capped his Talent Score. The producers have to constantly remind him of his newly-won Yoda to get him to work.”

Will the star of The Earth is Bleeding be able to finish? According to Mark, yes, but the moods of all cast and crew are being affected.

The Eighth Circle is being released on March 7.

The nominations are in! After many painstaking hours of vote counting, HTG Awards officials have announced a long list of contendors for the newest batch of Golden Yodas. Ritchie Steven promises that voting will begin soon for the bi-annual event.

Until 5 seems to be the “film to beat,” with 10 nominations and a Best Producer nod for its writer, 10K Cases honcho Bryan Bishop. It barely beat the number of nominations for Americatown (with 9), which also earned a Best Producer nomination for author Matthew Trixie (Mattricks).

Of special interest to the Happening staff is a Best Supporting Actress nomination for Abigail Breslin, who played “10-year-old Boy” in An Adventure With Larry and Jon. The character, whose dialogue included the catchphrase “I’m offended,” was a special time for the young star.

“I was thinking ‘Play a boy?’” remarked the Little Miss Sunshine actress during a recent interview. “But I figured, why not. It was a challenge. Plus those guys always have a ton of pizza on their craft services tables. Yum!”

Congratulations to all nominees and good luck with the voting to come.

With Uninvited’s script turning out to be a no-show from producer Mac the Movieguy this weekend, complaints were being heard throughout HTG Hollywood. Without a completed movie, Ship of Fooles head Lucian Carter was forced to cancel the release. Where was Mac with his movie?

“I’ve been in the hospital for the last three days,” wrote Mac on Saturday on the HTG message board. “I had a bad case of salmonella poisoning. I’m really weak, I’m really tired, and I’m supposed to be in bed for a while. The worst part is I missed a competition/audition that might have gotten me a scholarship. Couple that with Uninvited didn’t get finished, thus being cancelled, and I’ve had a really bad past few days. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t post here sooner. I apologize to fans. Maybe you’ll see it. I probably won’t be on the computer a lot for a while. I’m really tired, and really sore, and all I want to do is lie in bed. I’ll let you know when I’m back for real. Thanks.”

Get well messages have come from many throughout the city, including Happening EIC Marlowe.

“I’ve been hospitalized twice since HTG Hollywood was founded,” Marlowe explained during a visit to the exterior of crazed car collector DCE’s newly expanded parking garage. “It’s nothing that you can plan for. And it’s indeed very very draining. My heart goes out to Mac. I wish him nothing but a peaceful rest and full recovery.”

Now that Batman: To Thy Magic buzz weekend is upon us, where are all the ads promised to us by mega-producer Bryan Bishop? Has the Terror Island resident fallen into one of his infamous drunken stupors and forgot about his upcoming film?

“Hardly,” answered a representative from Flip Brothers Studio, who is releasing TTM. “We have our buzz advertisements in place. We’re merely timing them to maximize the buzz potential. Too much too soon isn’t a good thing. HTG moviegoers can only handly so much awesomenessityitude at once. Don’t worry, more ads are on their way.”

This news pleased many HTG Hollywood citizens, but not Marlowe, head of Miracle Pictures.

“Awesomenessityitude?” the studio chief proclaimed. “What kind of hogwash word is that? If that’s what we can expect from the Flips and this new Batman flick, maybe I should look at putting my buzz vote elsewhere. Maybe that Pound of Flesh movie coming in another week would warrant my vote. These new ads better be good, or it’ll be no Batman for moi.”

Batman: To Thy Magic, a 10K Cases (Bryan Bishop) produced film, will be up for buzz vote this weekend.

It seems that the name of the film was appropriate. When horror buffs went to the theatres to see the new Ship of Fooles release Uninvited, they were told that the movie had not been delivered by the producer.

“It’s a shame,” remarked one moviegoer as he was deciding on another choice for his box office dollars. “I was intrigued by Uninvited. But I guess I still have time this afternoon to check out Summer Nights or that Romeo movie.”

“I’m pissed, frankly,” churned SoF chief Lucian when he was forced to pull Uninvited. “I already put up with moving the date once when the producer ‘quit.’”

What does this mean for HTG theatres? With no new films this week, top films like Beautiful Thing: Romeo and Romeo and The Last Town on Earth should see some more healthy profits. Insiders have stated that current films should get what they can while they can, because next week’s release of Batman: To Thy Magic is expected to take the number one spot and more than its share of the box office.

“If Bishop and the Flips don’t pull in 50 million from the first week,” guessed one expert, “I’ll be shocked.”

A day has passed since the majority of the cast names were given for Trax’s new Captain Planet movie. Fans of the animated environmental superhero show buzzed with anticipation over the identity of the title character. Who would play Captain Planet?

It took little time for the Organization of Richard Grieco Aficionados to chime in with their thoughts. The ORGA, one of two fan clubs for the 21 Jump Street actor in HTG Hollywood, believes that their idol should proclaim “The power is yours!”

“He was Booker, for goodness sake!” exclaimed ORGA president Morton Hightower during a rally yesterday in front of the Trax Productions offices. “Richard remembers Captain Planet. Heck, that show and 21 Jump Street used to rule the airwaves! Plus… Doesn’t he look like Captain Planet? He’s a natural!”

A representative from Trax Productions made an appearance later, informing that the casting of Grieco would not be possible.

“We have already commenced shooting,” the rep announced. “We do have a person already cast in the Captain Planet role. It is someone that you are acquainted with, and we feel that he will bring the character to live in a very pleasing way. Thank you for the interest in the film. We hope that you will enjoy it.”

Disappointed, the ORGA members promised to keep fighting for more roles for Grieco.

“I guess we can keep up our letter writing campaign to the Sci-Fi Channel,” Hightower concluded before leaving in his mother’s SUV.

The Captain Planet movie is set for February 28.

With the recent purchase of all Saturday Night Live properties, past and future, by Miracle Pictures, rumors have been soaring around HTG Hollywood about what studio chief Marlowe intends to do with the property.

“I hear he’s going to make a Mango movie,” theorized one movie fan during a visit to Flip Brothers Pizza.

“Someone told me that he’s going to make a live action Ambiguously Gay Duo flick,” mentioned another diner.

A third pizza eater had another thought. “I hear that he’s going to remake The Blues Brothers with Marcotte and Bishop. With Bishop’s frequent drunken behavior and Marcotte’s natural rhythm, I think that casting would hit the nail on the head.”

Marlowe, who often hangs his hat in the Happening office down the hall from this one, denies the above rumors.

“First of all,” Marlowe began when he answered questions late last night in HTG Chat, “I would be foolish to attempt to remake The Blues Brothers. The film is a classic. It’s great as it is. Second, an AG film? Please! Who could I get to do all of that stuff that Ace and Gary do? Third, a Mango movie? Waitasec… That might be a good…”

Marlowe has been out of reach for the last few hours, so we’ll have to wait to see if he announces his intentions with the SNL franchise.

All rightie, the first Caption This appears to be over. Congrats to Mark Chua who gave us the winning caption. Thanks much to the other participants for sending in funny lines. For his entry, Mark wins… Well, I’ll have to think of something and let him know, huh.

Find the picture for the next Caption This above. For you not in the know for some reason, that’s Captain Marvel and Abigail Breslin. Let’s see what kind of captions we can come up with that one. Again, the person who we here at Happening feel sent in the best caption will be given a little prize. Have fun and buckle up for safety.

Might as well end it here. This CT winner is DCE, who is the only person (that I saw) who made a reference to Hollywood/HTG Hollywood. Happening will place a special prize somewhere for him in the near future. Thanks for all who posted. Don’t forget, it is What’s Happening in HTG Town. And, by the way, I was expecting something with this pic, but didn’t get it. Maybe we’ll have something similar in the future. Stay tuned for the next Caption This!

First off I would like to say thanks for those reading each week. There would be no reason to write this column if not for knowing that I have a few readers. Second, I would like to say that you may have noticed that there is no artwork this week. Well, after having a few friends, including Janet and Justin, I had a serious hard-drive malfunction. Everything…Kaput! I should have it back in about two to six weeks, so until then, this column will continue, sans artwork.

So what happened this week:

* A melancholy happy trails to Heath Ledger. The star of such films as Brokeback Mountain, A Knight’s Tale, The Patriot, Derwent, and Over the Rainbow, died this past week. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family.

* In other Real Hollywood news, the monster film, Cloverfield as a huge success. While I hate to admit that I was there opening weekend and enjoyed the film, I was one of the unfortunate few that was a little ill due to the dramatic camera movements.

* Speaking of an ill feeling, the Box Office report was released (Finally) and the first set of numbers were in for 2008. Mac’s disappointing 1.4.8 debuted with an opening weekend of just over $5 million. At this rate, 1.4.8 won’t be around for a second week.

* The Award nomination period has been extended, which is good because I have a request. Please nominate me. For what you ask? How about everything! DCE for Best Critic! (Obvious choice.) DCE for Best Journalist (I wrote something last year.) DCE for best Creative Company! (I made 1 poster.) Innovator of the Year! (I came up with a few HTG ideas.) and Collector of the Year (I like cars) and Sexiest HTG Assistant TV Admin! (Clearly the only choice.) Thanks for all your support.

* Is anyone else concerned about the Security Forces from Bishops Island of Terror? These goons are all over HTG, far away from their jurisdiction, intimidating HTG Citizens. And where is Mayor Harmer during all this? He’s at home, on Terror Island, washing his tights!

* Has anyone else noticed all the issues lately since Mayor Harmer was put into office. There has been shutdowns of every major service, including the Theater, the Critic Corner, the Library database, and Records room since he took the oath. And now, I cannot even access my funds to make purchases in town. What gives!

* Finally, after plenty of whining by yours truly, a cast listing was released for Bishop’s To Thy Magic. A few surprises, but none more than the casting for the Joker. There were so many names being floated that it came as a shock to most that Iron Man himself has taken off the armor to don the cape and cowl. My only concern is this: Isn’t this against the union rules to play both a DC and Marvel character? Won’t the space-time continuum collapse or something?

* Captain Planet 1: The casting is being released for the new Captain Planet film. Even though there has been some confusion as to the casting, the big story is really: Who is Captain Planet? No really, who is he? Why does he care now? People have been destroying the planet forever and now this blue-mullet-wearing freak is going to teach us a lesson. If I don’t listen to my wife about recycling, why will I listen to a smurf with gigantism?

* What the hell is an Electric Smurf? And how do you make it?

* As if Bishop doesn’t get enough attention in HTG, the marketing campaign kicked off for the latest in his Days Saga — the Ballad of Mike Roulette. For those wishing to get caught up with the series, the award-winning producer has thoughtfully prepared a brief (yeah, that will be the day) synopsis of the films. Get caught up and catch the finale. Will Mike Roulette die? Or will he be the next shocking casting decision for the next Batman film?

* Captain Planet 2: Seriously, if the bums in the neighborhood don’t pull the paper and plastic from my garbage, is it really worth recycling? I mean they steal my damn siding, but leave the plastic milk containers…

* If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, color me tickled. (Or something like that.) While I play the nice guy, HTG Dirty has followed suit with a column dishing the dirt on HTG’s elite. Almost like our own version of Wicked…

* Although she has not been active in film making recently, Cassy has been very active behind the scene in the HTG community. After her recent push for critic reviews (Which is still active, by the way.) she has now focused on increasing current films reaching the theater as her next project. Check out the Short Film proposals for the next few months. All production costs to be paid! And others have jumped in as well to sweeten the pot. Come on, lets see how many films won’t get reviewed… I mean, will get released in the next few months!

* Mac’s Uninvited releases this weekend throughout HTG. I expect short lines at the theater, however, due to the very mixed messages the marketing campaign was sending out. Each poster and trailer was telling me to see the film, but saying I was not welcomed at the same time. I am confused! Should I show up? Or just sneak in?

* Has the Thunderdome been silenced? Have all the HTG Citizen issues been worked out? Will we all live happily ever after?

* TCW: Total Mayhem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* With the studios and producers still fighting against the guild, how are films being produced in HTG? Does HTG have that many scabs? What do the union workers around town feel with such a lack of support?

That’s all I have this week. Stay tuned for more of This Week In Hollywood the Game. And remember, with or without graphics, TWIHTG is your only source of information that is 100% interesting and entertaining to me.

Yesterday it was reported in this HTG news source that the casting for Trax Productions’ new Captain Planet film was confusing to some moviegoers. Soon after that report, an insider at the TP offices notified Happening about cast selections for the project. So far, the following people have been cast:

‘Kwame’ Coleman - Columbus Short
Gi Itou - Yui Ichikawa
Philip ‘Wheeler’ Thomas - Jared Padalecki
Dr. Linka Kralova - Romola Garai
Ma-Ti - Rudy Youngblood
Anna Terade - Catherine Zeta Jones
Nathan Cross - Liam Neeson
Marcus Torelli - James Gandolfini
Jason Moore - James Marsters
Mr. Osamu Itou - George Takei

According to the inside source, the announcement about who will be playing Captain Planet himself will be made soon.

“James Gandolfini and George Takei in a movie together?” asked a Captain Planet fan during a visit to Mega Mart’s toy department. “That hasn’t happened since Saving William Shatner 3! This is too good to be true!”

The Captain Planet movie is set for February 28.

Lake Hope Features head Quantum has repeatedly denied reports that he has ever used steroids. Accused of juicing by many gossip mongers in HTG Hollywood, Quantum claims that his belief is just about human growth hormone. He used it to beef himself up to 149 pounds before he oversaw the production of the film Summer Nights, which is currently showing in HTG theatres. He went on record concerning HGH in a recent phone interview.

“HGH is nothing, man. Anyone who calls it a steroid is terribly misinformed. Testosterone to me is so important for a sense of well-being. Everyone over 12 years old would be wise to look into it, because it increases the quality of your life, man. Mark my words. In 10 years, it will be over the counter, as easy as it is to get Tylenol.”

Lake Hope Features has two projects scheduled for February — Costas’ Camp X and The Man Who Would Have Rome by Octavius.

UPDATE: Happening has learned that it was not Quantum who was interviewed over the telephone, but a staff member upset over the studio head’s refusal to release his sci-fi thriller mystery romantic comedy via Cassy’s recent 30-page offer. We regret any discomfort that this report may have caused Quantum and his loved ones.

Although a great number of HTG citizens are looking forward to the new Captain Planet project from Trax Productions, many are left confused by the posters in a series of ads on the HTG message board.

“I’m digging the posters, I really am,” stated an anonymous citizen during a visit to the HTG Museum recently. “But, I have to confess, I’m confused who’s starring. The font that is being used for the talents’ names isn’t the easiest to read. Is that Roman Gabriel’s name on the Wind poster?”

Gabriel, who quarterbacked the Philadelphia Eagles in the 70’s, returned a call from the Happening staff placed this afternoon. Under condition that he would not be directly quoted, the Filapino-American stated that he was not appearing in the film.

Gabriel did have a brief career in movies, however, playing a prison guard in Preminger’s Skidoo and as Blue Boy in the John Wayne film The Undefeated.

The Happening reporter on hand at the museum informed the confused visitor that Romola Garai, not Roman Gabriel, would be portraying the Wind character.

“I think Trax needs to get a story out in the papers as soon as he can,” remarked the man. “It sure would help out people like me too busy to fully examine his ads.”

The time to buzz vote is approaching for the new Bishop flick Batman: To Thy Magic. Anticipated as one of the highest buzzed films of the new year, what can we expect to wet our appetites for the movie?

“I’m doing a Joker ad today,” mega-producer Bryan Bishop announced this afternoon on HTG Chat. “I’ve sent word to Sureshot that I’m going to need a new poster soon. I want one with the title reflected in Gotham City. If it’s up to Sureshot’s usual quality, it’ll kick some serious ass.”

Rumors of a proclamation from Mayor Chris Harmer’s office requiring viewing of the Batman film by all HTG Hollywood citizens have not come to reality yet. Were they indeed just rumors? Or have stories in this news source squashed the edict? Perhaps we’ll never know.

Batman: To Thy Magic, a release from Flip Brothers Studio, is scheduled for February 1.

Mac the Movieguy apparently believes the rumors that Irina Sheik distracted him and decided the two should “just be friends,” according to rumors running through HTG Hollywood. After two poor weeks at the box office for his AIDS-themed documentary 1.4.8, Mac phoned the Russian supermodel to tell her their romance was over.

“He said he thought it was better if they went back to being friends,” a mutual pal said. “I think it has as much to do with Mac wanting to see what else was out there. Oh, that Mac, he’s a player.”

Mac is expected to redeem himself this weekend with the release of Uninvited, the new horror film released through Ship of Fooles Studio. The movie, directed by Guillermo Del Toro, features Noah Gray Cabey, Saorise Ronan, Ray Winstone and Emma Thompson.

Uninvited, opening this following weekend, is still in buzz voting.

Mark Chua of Nu/Art Films has more to brag about this week than being the owner of the Pepsiman franchise. He has found a director to his new post-apoc film The 8th Circle.

“After considering Ridley Scott, Alfonso Cuaron, the Wachowskis and Fernando Meirelles, Frank Darabont has been tapped to direct” announced the award-winning producer of 2007’s The Earth Was Bleeding.

Mark Chua has also added some cast members to the calendar date for the film: Sean Astin, Cole Hauser, Laurence Fishburne, Clive Owen, Jennifer Garner and Madison Pettis, with more to be determined. The premise of the film is that “The Rapture is over. All that remains is one lone metropolis in a desert of waste. But there’s one faction known as the Eighth Sphere who doesn’t believe they truly are the Saved. They believe salvation has yet to come and urge anyone who listens to join their colony, New Eden… Beyond the Politan Walls… In the radioactive Quarantined Zone… With the sole promise of their word.”

The Eighth Circle is scheduled for March 7.

Here’s a little something for the readers of Happening. Hit the Comments link below and give us a caption for the above picture. It can be witty. It can be pensive. It can be downright stupid. Whatever. After we here at the Happening offices think that we received enough captions, we’ll figure out a “best” one and award its author a prize of some sort. What? Who knows. We’re bound to have something in a box somewhere that you might want. It won’t be big, but it can’t suck too bad if we haven’t thrown it away.

To be honest, the winning caption will very very likely be HTG oriented. Readers of HTG news sources will spot two references above to things HTG Hollywood. Use one or both. Or not. Just remember, it is What’s Happening in HTG Town, right?

UPDATE: This Caption This is closed. See above for the name of the person who gave the favored caption.