Former Beauty Enters Race*
Pamela Lee Rock Salamander Anderson has found herself thrust into the spotlight again, this time as a candidate for HTG Hollywood Mayor. In his “Vote for caring!” campaign, manager Rotor hopes that beauty will bring in the votes.
“Caring? Ha!” exclaimed Marlowe, campaign manager for Indy competitor Chuck Norris. “The only thing that dye-job bimbo cares about is herself. Besides, does she really want to be mayor? Look at how serious she has taken her marriages! How many minutes do they last? Just recently she declared that she was divorcing her latest husband-of-the-day, Rick Samalamadingdong, or whatever the name is. Now she’s not. I bet within the week the divorce is back on. That’s what happened to Kid Rock. That’s what happened to Tommy Lee. Am I leaving anyone out? It’s hard to remember who was a husband of hers and who she just gave an STD to. Rotor used the expression “Vote for openness” in his first ad for his candidate. There’s nothing more open in HTG Hollywood than Pam Anderson’s legs.”
Recent picture of Indy candidate Pam Anderson
*This release was composed by the campaign manager of a competitor of Pamela Anderson’s. And Rotor’s a swell guy. Really. He sent me brownies for Christmas. Hmm… Doesn’t he know that I’m diabetic? Oh, that rascal!
