Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

It took very little time for official sources at Ship of Fooles studios to clarify rumors about the previously reported sequel to Zombies Vs. Ninjas.

“Let me state for the record,” began studio head Lucian Carter at a recent press conference, “that it has always been the position of Ship of Fooles that ninjas are awesome. It has never been our intention to exclude ninjas from projects at Ship of Fooles. On the contrary, we have always sought for a project that would be the ultimate display of just how awesome they are.”

When asked about the bandages on his arm, Lucian did not answer. He was rushed from the podium by SoF security. A young assistant continued the meeting with reporters.

“It appears that the leaked project will be Pirates Vs. Ninjas,” he stated. “If you want zombies, may I suggest the upcoming film Walking Dead.”

After the press conference, the youthful speaker was able to give more information in private concerning the upcoming movie.

“Oh, man, ninjas are the best. Ninjas can kill anyone they want! They cut off heads all the time and don’t even think twice about it. Those guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out all the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.”

More news on a possible Pirates Vs. Ninjas movie will be made possible when information from the studio is given and their staff manages to settle down.

Big name talents have big time egos. That applies to many walks of life, but in HTG Hollywood, it applies even more. So when one of those egos grows even larger than others, its worth a look.

The latest update to The Carson Daily features an interview with M. Night Shyamalan, the director of the Flip Brothers Studio release Red Summer. But, rather than focus on the upcoming movie, M. Night went on a rant about a past release, Salvation.

“The best film released in the past three years is, hands down, ‘Salvation,’ the director mentions in the Carson interview. “Yet, for some strange reason, it barely grossed 77 million dollars and those god awful critics gave it a 40 average. Obliviously, they didn’t get it.”

During the course of the interview, Shyamalan proceeded to become threatening with the young female interviewer. Security for Carson ended the interview and escorted the raving man off of the property.

How much longer will the Flip Brothers accept this behavior? Has M. Night forgotten the rumors about what the Flips do to people who upset them? Lake Ohnasasi is littered with the bodies of those who dared to give the Flips ultimatums. (Or so the stories go.)

Red Summer, penned by first-time producer Sapphire Digital, is set for an August 10 release. Will Shyamalan still be on board? What about his friend, star Mel Gibson? Will the Flips allow the director to do a page one rewrite of Red Summer?

“I think the Flip Brothers are powerful enough,” stated a studio source, “that they don’t need this bulls***.”

“I heard he squashed a bug and ate it during the interview,” mentioned another insider.

Keep an eye out on your various HTG Hollywood news sources to see what happens!

It seems that the comedy Puneet is not the only egg that Ship of Fooles chief honcho Lucian is holding in his basket. “I have a new TCW pay-for-view coming soon,” he informed this reporter. But what Lucian kept to himself is that a sequel to a 2006 SoF project is also under consideration.

An inside source at the studio has informed us that Lucian is looking into making a sequel to Zombies Vs. Ninjas, the fun arthouse film helmed by Sam Raimi. Rumors of a Pirates Vs. Zombies film have filtered throughout the lot. According to the insider, “Lucian is actually halfway considering the movie. He has a full studio now. He can beef this thing up much bigger than the original.”

When asked about the availability of ninjas in the sequel, the source shook his head. “No ninjas, I hear. Lucian decided that ninjas are just too awesome. You have to believe that they are vulnerable enough to possibly lose to the pirates or the zombies. That’s not going to happen.”

With the release of Over the Rainbow completed, HTG mega-producer Bryan Bishop decided to blow some steam off Saturday night.

“Luau!” Bishop declared.

A gathering of HTG Hollywood luminaries and celebrities filled the back room of Club Siberia, where a pig roast had been set up in the center of the room. Fire dancers and hula girls entertained the crowd.

“I can’t drunk I got this believe,” exclaimed Tyler Durden, no stranger to a party. By the end of the evening the young HTG Hollywood resident was found naked behind the bar covered in tequila, salt and limes.

“I ate some pork ribs and dropped one,” Bishop mentioned. “It bounced off my crotch and hit my friend’s dog in the head.”

Matthew Trixie, aka Mattricks, spent the majority of the night in a corner booth chatting with actress Evan Rachel Wood. Although a nasty breakup marked the relationship between the two, onlookers were guessing that Trixie was looking for solace after his recent split with Americatown beauty Camilla Belle.

Absent from the festivities, surprisingly, was esteemed producer Mark Chua. With his release of the film Else this weekend, was he having a celebration of his own?

“He’s probably at his house surrounded by Carson Awards and getting succulent rubb downz,” guessed newly popular young actor Jonah Hill.

Over the Rainbow and Else are now in release at HTG theatres.

Contains Major Spoilers for Codex Gigas: Revelations

At a recent party celebrating the international release of Codex Gigas: Revelations, a drunk Alex Love let loose some secrets about his upcoming projects. A reporter, disguised as a partygoer, used the level of alcohol in Love’s system to ask him a few secrets about the Codex Gigas finale, tentatively set for Winter. Love was quick to answer, but be warned, his response does include some spoilers for Codex Gigas: Revelations. MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW.

“Tabatha, Eva Green’s character, is dead. Tabatha isn’t off somewhere out there having been kidnapped or anything, she’s dead. There is no question about that. At the end of Revelations, Melia (Natalie Portman) successfully took her soul to the Underworld despite Tabatha probably being destined for Heaven. Sean Connery and Clive Owen are also dead. Brad Pitt and Eric Bana are both alive, as is Natalie Portman’s character, but we don’t expect her character to return as her arc is finished.”

When asked about other projects, Love was quick to talk about himself. “I have a few movies coming out soon! I wrote a short comedy called Summer Nights that is an outrageous satire about reality TV dating games on MTV. I am currently in the middle of production on a Pearl Harbor film entitled A Boy at War, which should come out on the infamous date on the attack of Pearl Harbor . Beyond that, season 2 of Conversations starts production soon. Zach Braff and Jaime King won’t be returning. We are looking at new characters!”

Alex Love then proceeded to drink more before dancing up alongside Portman, star of his recent hit film. Eventually, Lindsay Lohan tried to crash the party, but Love still had some of his wits as he quickly kicked her out. “I don’t want to be responsible when she kills some kids on the way to summer camp while driving home at 6 in the morning,” Love told the crowd to much applause.

After weeks of managing things behind the camera for the upcoming comedy Puneet, producer Lucian Carter has found himself a subject in the film.

“Did you notice I was added to the cast list?” asked Lucian during a recent Ship of Fooles press meeting. When asked what his on-camera participation would entail, he kept mum. “That’s a secret. But I won’t be appearing alone.”

Puneet is described as follows on the HTG release calendar: “Hank Azaria disguises himself as Puneet, an East Indian 7-11 worker and tries to pull the wool over the eyes of a host of celebrities.”

The Larry Charles-helmed movie is scheduled for August 24. It has an all-star cast, including A-lister Tom Cruise and HTG man-about-town Mr. T.

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

“Balls!”

That was the one-word exclamation of joy that came from the head of Pink Moon Productions when he discovered that his new film was going to be picked up. Marty Poole, who last hit the big screen with the award-winning 4th of July, has just sold his new film to Neighborhood Features. Called Yesterdays, the film is “a time traveling double love story.” Tentatively set for an October release, the film is still in early production.

“I’m really excited about this,” smiled Marty.

In a surprising turn for an HTG talent, comic actor Horatio Sanz has appeared on national television and criticized the movie that he is appearing in. According to the recent press release:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Chilean-born comedy actor Horatio Sanz lashed out against his new film 3 / About / Superheroes on late-night talk show Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Wednesday night.

“Don’t you dare see it,” Sanz warned, “Don’t you fucking dare! It’s a shit movie, a stinkin’ fuckin’ piece of shit movie.”

Which prompted host Kimmel to ask, with a smirk, “Aren’t you here to promote your movie, isn’t that the point of you being here?”

But the portly star, who has several roles in the upcoming independent film by Miranda July, went on to stun both host and audience when he refused to back down and, instead, called for his fans to boycott the film.

“Anyone who is a true, and I mean hardcore, Sanz-head will not see this movie. I’m not even gonna show you a clip. Fuck you all.”

After a string of profanities, Sanz went on to explain the reason for his anger.

“They told me I’d be playing a lion. I mean, the king of the fucking jungle. So I thought, you know, that’s pretty awesome. But then I see a rough cut of the movie, right, and I’m playing a friggin’ dog! A dog! A mutt.”

Sanz then tried to speculate that the choice might have been “a racial thing” before Kimmel cut to commercial and had the by-now irate Sanz removed from the set by police.

Sanz has yet to release an official statement about his behaviour.

A representative from Außenseiterkünstlergruppe, the studio releasing the film, has not returned any further calls as of press time. What caused Sanz to act in this way?

“Heck, he’s only appeared in Night of the Squirrels and Saving William Shatner 2,” a theatre goer stated this morning. “If I was Horation Sanz, I’d be thrilled to get whatever work I could get.”

“Maybe he’s tired of being mistaken for Rosie,” another theatre customer guessed.

Set for an August 3 release, the Misio-produced film is said to be “Three shorts on the theme: superhero-ism is in the eye of the beholder.” It is a Miranda July film and stars Rory Culkin, John Hawkes, Miranda July, Sanz and Miles Thompson.

“Sounds interesting” remarked HTG resident Tyler Durden before resuming his search for a lighter.

For the first time, Ship of Fooles Studio and Sureshot Inc. will be cooperating on a rare project that has film historians excited. Lucian Carter and Sureshot have discovered a long-lost film from 1939 in the bowels of the SoF vaults.

“The prints that we found are in remarkable shape,” SoF head Lucian informed us at a recent meeting. “We’re tickled to be able to bring them to HTG theatres soon.”

Sureshot, who is managing the new film’s distribution, is keeping mum on the name of the film and the talents involved. A source close to the long time HTG Hollywood resident says that a press release will be issued soon covering various details.

“I wanted to delay the release until Thanksgiving,” continued Lucian, “but Sure wants it in theatres much sooner.” A September date has been hinted.

(Sureshot is using a Classic Award to produce a film from an earlier era with talents from that period.)

Update: A second inside source informed the Happening offices this morning that the film was not found on the Ship of Fooles property, but elsewhere. More details are expected to be coming soon.

Although now an 11-year-old actress, Abigail Breslin did not hesitate to portray a 10-year-old boy in the upcoming An Adventure With Larry and Jon.

“I got to work with all sorts of great actors,” the Oscar nominee commented. “There was George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, plus this guy named Tim wearing clown makeup. He was fun.”

Breslin’s character has periodic interaction with the two leads in the film, Larry and Jon. The two men explore the nature of their friendship while walking around a small Idaho town.

“I thought the relationship between the two was a touching interaction,” commented Marlowe, a co-producer of the film. Representatives from 10,000 Cases Productions, the company who aided Miracle Pictures in the movie, could not be reached for comment.

Sadly, HTG Hollywood may have claimed another victim in its spree of destroying young talent. According to a source close to this publication, Abigail Breslin has been showing signs of extreme behavior after her work on An Adventure With Larry and Jon was complete.

Breslin in foil hat

The source explained that “She’s been acting really strange. She thinks that aliens are coming to get her. The poor girl’s even gone so far as to wearing a foil hat whenever she can so that the aliens won’t suck out her brains. It’s really really sad.”

“Oh, kids will be kids,” scoffed Miracle Pictures head Marlowe. “Besides, the only ‘alien’ we had with the movie was an actor in a space suit. I seriously doubt that he threatened Abbie in any way.”

An Adventure With Larry and Jon, a Jared Hess film, is set for release on August 3.

Canadian comic actor Martin Short has been hospitalized after collapsing at Club Siberia on Monday evening. According to witnesses on the scene, the actor seemed extremely frustrated when denied entry into the reknown “back room” of the HTG Hollywood gathering spot.

“He was like, ‘You don’t know who I am?’ and the bouncer guy said ‘Nope’,” a young club partier explained. “Then that guy, whoever he is, collapsed a little while later. After about twenty minutes, someone decided to see if he was okay. I guess he wasn’t.”

According to an insider on the Ship of Fooles studio lot, the day for Short had not been a good one. Not having a single role to date in HTG Hollywood, the actor was thinking about packing his bags and moving back north of the border. But he heard that he was filmed candidly at the 7-11 convenience store where SoF is filming the Hank Azaria comedy Puneet.

“Word got back to him on Monday,” said the source, “that what was shot of him wasn’t worthy of the film. Normally he would not have been told that, but the guy was going around town telling people how he’s going to be starring in the thing. The rumor had to be squashed.”

The current condition of Martin Short is unknown.

Puneet, produced by Lucian Carter, is set for August 24.

Bryan Bishop’s Over the Rainbow opens Friday and the eye doctors of HTG Hollywood couldn’t be sadder.

“That means an end to these long ads,” remarked Dr. Ivan Ceeyu, a local optometrist. “These long ads mean wear on the eyes. And that’s just good business for me and my colleagues.”

The latest OTR ad is an intriguing, descriptive trailer that’s a fine example of Bryan’s writing. Do theatre goers appreciate these longer ads?

An informal poll in HTG Chat resulted in a resounding “yes.” Viewers do appreciate these longer ads, since you can get the full flavor of what the movie is going to be like. Although, according to the chatters, some ads don’t warrant the lengthy descriptions.

“Just keep ‘em coming,” smiled Dr. Ceeyu.

Over the Rainbow is a Tim Burton film opening this Friday. Also opening will be Mark Chua’s short film titled Else.

Bennyman has returned from a short production hiatus and he’s coming out with a bang. His next film is a horror piece originally titled Lucifer Hospice, but is now named Quarantine.

According to the pitch summary: Henry Lawson, an attending surgeon at Saint Gregory’s Hospital, is stressed out about his lfie and work. His best friend, Frank Goldstein, a resident trying to get a specialty as a Radiologist, is having an affair with nurse June Davies. His life is about to get even more stressful when the hospital is quarantined after a patient gets infected with a deadly virus that causes the victims to become inhuman flesh eating monsters.

Flip Brothers Studio has picked up the film. Greg Kinnear and Shawnee Smith have been hired for the cast so far. Further actors and a director are still being sought.

“This is a much better work than (Bennyman’s) previous films,” an FB insider said.

The insider says that they are looking at a late August or early September release date.

Keep an eye here for further news on the next HTG Awards, HTG Hollywood’s top prize ceremony. This set of awards will be for films released between January 1st to June 30th, 2007. Will movies that struck gold at the recent Carson Awards hit paydirt again? Time will soon tell.

One of the many online dictionaries available gives this as one of the deifinitions for teaser: An advertisement that attracts customers by offering something extra or free. Teaser posters for movies are intended to give an initial hint at a film in order to begin excitement for a project.

Two teaser posters recently appeared in HTG Hollywood…

Do they provide a first hint at what the movie is about? Do they provide anything to look forward to?

Poster one is obviously for the KrisGreet film Superman 2, to be released by Flip Brothers Studio. Initially slated for an August release, the iconic superhero will have to fly across our screens on a different day. Technical difficulties have apparently struck the KG Productions offices. The movie just won’t be ready by the August date. As far as excitement goes… heck, it’s Superman. The first of the series in HTG Hollywood, Superman: Last Son of Krypton, debuted in April of 2006 and went on to grab just under $250 million worldwide. (Not bad for a Spring release in a not-so-great year.) Will Superman 2 (plus whatever the subtitle is) continue where the first left off? Does it really matter? No. Tons of people like Superman and will watch him fight evil, no matter the set-up. I’m looking forward to the film and hope the glitches with KG can be overcome soon.

The next teaser poster is for… Well, what is it for? Bruce Willis knows Mark Chua. What does that mean? Is this the same Mark Chua who walked away the big winner at the recent Carson Awards ceremony? Or is this just a character with the same name? Granted, Bruce Willis is an A-lister who is grabbing some attention with the release of Live Free or Die Hard. Is Willis starring in a Mark Chua-produced film? It’s difficult to get excited about a proposed project when you don’t have a clue what that project is. Hopefully this will be clarified soon.

What new teasers will we see in the coming weeks? Will they be true teasers like the ones for Else? Or will they be purely cryptic? Whatever they turn out to be, teaser posters are a good method of advertising an upcoming film if they are done correctly.