Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

By Lucian

At Mr. T’s urging I decided to check out the museum. This time I decided to check out the 2004 exhibit. The entry hall is tastefully decorated in picture of stars passed on. The entire décor is wonderful, it makes you feel like you are inside a black and white movie.

Entering the main hall we are first greeted by a dangerous looking weapon. The label is a bit disappointing as it’s only referred to as a prop from “Gates of Tartarus” with no other information given. Still it’s fairly nasty looking, though the display setting si poor and much of the blade is obscured.

Less dangerous is Charlton Faust’s Diary from “The Montana Joneses” HTG’s highest grossing family film of all time. I wanted to actually be able to touch it, to see how much real and fake material was inside the book itself but it was sealed off under glass.

Speaking of glass there are two Coke Bottles from the short film “The Coke Bottle Killer” from a Short Film contest. I had no idea you could donate props from the short film contests. I will have to dig up a prop from “Critical”

Also related to glass are a pair of aviator sunglasses worn by actor Charlie Hunnam in the movie “Bad Apples”. Security was high and I can see why.

Behind glass we find the Quickie costume from the movie “Quickie”. This is an awesome prop donated by RS. It really looks like it was custom made for the film. The suit was worn by Jason Lee.

Also worn by a celebrity, the lovely Scarlett Johansson, is a coat from another short film “Tube”. It’s a nice coat, if a little drab.

Three Time Best Producer Bryan Bishop offers a scary Fantasma mask from The Days Saga film “Wednesday in Wyoming . It’s scary.

Scarier still is the fact there’s actually a sled in the museum. Not Rosebud of course but “The Giver” sled that was used in the finale of that film. It was donated by DominatinMvp.

A rather pedestrian donation is the Tummy t-shirt from “Six Rolls, a Bun, and a Loincloth” donated by MC48. The shirt also looks way too small to have been worn by Jon Lovitz.

More impressive is a lamppost set piece from yet another short film “Night Tale”. It was donated by W’Inc. I wonder if anyone knows where I can find this story? Is it archived anywhere?

Next purports to be a Willaim Shatner toupee. Used during the filming of “Magi”. I can’t believe Shatner let this out. Shat has always been very private about whether he wears a hairpiece or not and to see this seeming confirmation is amazing. I know it’s been the butt of many jokes but it’s never been confirmed.

A cool Superman still from “Small Town Trap” makes me want to see that movie too. I still think DVD libraries are a needed addition to the game for just this reason. Visiting the museum makes me want to see these films!

A Romantic crystal snowflake is donated to mark “Shades of God”. This is another film I’ve heard great things about and would look up in a DVD library. Sureshot donated this item.

A bowling ball from “GUTTERBALL” (sic) by UWI is kind of lame. Not a critical bowling ball? Not a bowling ball used by one of the stars. Just a random one you had lying around the set. That’s weak.

We started with a weapon we end with a weapon. Michael Wood’s sword from “Once Upon a Time in the South”. Again this item suffers from a bad display. For security reasons these very real swords are kept far back from the viewer The result is they look small and all the detail is lost. So what could be a bang up finish to the 2004 display ends up as a let down.

Next stop? The souvenir shop. Three items are on sale here. A safari hat and a Viking helmet at 3 million dollars each and a t-shirt at 2.8 million. The shirt reads “I LEARNED STUFF AT THE HTG MUSUEM” and it’s quality cotton. Now, this is very important for what I am about to tell you, owning any one of these items gives a $100,000 bonus on your museum donations. Owning multiples doesn’t give added benefits so pick your favorite and stick it in your closet space.

Which brings me to today’s sermon. Donate stuff to the museum! If you wrote a short film for the script contest you should definitely donate because it’s 5 million free dollars for sending in a picture! If you wrote a film the check with your studio about who gets the right to donate a prop and if you will split the profits. Ship of Fooles always gives full prop donation rights to our producers.

Don’t forget you can donate posters. Again check with the studio. Again Ship of Fooles gives poster donation rights to the creative company we use to make the posters. Donated posters are worth 2 million dollars though you can only donate once per film.

Even Arthouse films can donate props and posters though the payout is only 2 million dollars not 5 million for props as with full releases. Posters only get 1 million. With some Arthouse films 3 million dollars can really affect the profitability so remember to squeeze every penny you can out of this game. The more money we generate the more we stimulate the virtual economy. If we don’t donate the terrorists win!

“I have how many new emails?”

That was the initial response from HTG Admin/Producer/Studio Chief/Guy who wrote the megagrossing movie Cruisified/Pie Lover Marlowe when he logged on to his Yahoo! email account a couple days ago.

“Sure, I’ve been away for a little while, but this is kinda ridiculous,” the man stated.

So where exactly has Marlowe been? Filming at some far away locale? Scouting for “new talent” on some tropical isle? Off in a mountain cabin attempting to complete one more of his fifty unfinished scripts?

“Nah, I wish it was so glamorous,” Marlowe confessed. “To be honest, I’ve been recuperating from a pair of hospital stays that took me 15 days away from HTG Hollywood. And that doesn’t count the time spent passed out at home.”

According to the long-time HTG resident, surgery to remove his gall bladder was followed by a cyst around his pancreas. The latter ailment is still in treatment.

“Imagine someone sticking his knuckle into you underneath your sternum. Very hard. Harder than that. Keep going. If it weren’t for the pain medication, I’d be bawling my eyes out.”

Marlowe realizes that he has a lot of his HTG duties to catch up on, but is confident that his fellow citizens will show some patience.

“Well, some of them,” Marlowe cracked. “Some people expect things to be updated twice a day. That ain’t going to happen. For the time being I’m just going to pop my head up, wave to folks, then head back to bed. I just don’t have the energy to do otherwise.”