Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

By Lucian

Museum Shipment Pending!

If you’ve checked the calendar lately you’ll know that on August 30th, the same day as the HTG awards show hosted by yours truly, a new shipment will arrive at the museum. Now is the time to donate those props and posters to take advantage of the lucrative tax write offs that can help out your film’s bottom line. With props worth $5 million and posters $2 million there’s just no good reason not to donate!

Also don’t forget you can pick up souvenirs in the Museum Souvenir Shop! A Viking Helmet, t-shirt or safari hat will each add $100,000 to any donation you make. Plus they look stylish!

In this next update expect props from Horus The Avenger, The White Cat, Zombies Versus Ninjas! and Zest along with who knows how many others.

Chriswalkerbush wins the 7/11 cotnest!

Congratulations to Chriswalkerbush who won Ship of Fooles 7-11 contest with the following pitch:

People Beneath the Soil
Ryan Jackson’s job is about as dull as jobs get. Working in the 7/11 of a sleepy countryb town his sole sources of entertainment are occasional drunks, under-dressed teenage girls, and the town’s resident homeless guy who just happens to live in the car park across the road.

‘Scissors’ as he is less than affectionately known by the locals is like most homeless people - he has a story. In his lazy overnight hours Ryan attempts to piece together the story behind Scissors. But what he uncovers is more than just a tale of love lost. It’s a tale of much darker proportions.

Scissors’ crazy ramblings are just that, but what if one of his many bizarre stories contains a nugget of truth? What if his unnerving habit of feeding what he calls ‘the people beneath the soil’ is more than just a crazy compulsion? What is it exactly that keeps the man in the area, and how on earth did he manage to overcome a trio of drunken hoods last September?

People Beneath the Soil is a psychological thriller and a mystery. A tale of horror told, not through special effects or monsters, but through what is unseen and implied. When Ryan uncovers the truth, can he survive?

Chris will now have his film released by Ship of Fooles and share in the proceeds of this award:

Oh, Thank Heaven
The world renowned one-stop quick shop 7-11 is looking for even more exposure and is willing to pay for it with more than stale hot dogs and Slurpees. For every mention (up to 5) of 7-11 in your film, you’ll get $500,000. If a scene in the movie takes place in a 7-11, they’ll pay you an additional $10 million dollars. In addition, they will pay you 5 million to do a pres release about the joining of your film and their store (must be at least 1 page in 12 font.

Is Three a Crowd?

For a little while it actually looked like we’d have a two film weekend. But now Vacations and Marijuana by Supersoul Cinematic and Tyler Durden has been scheduled for August 18th. It joins The Good, The Bad and The Harmer and Ship of Fooles’ Mythos Series film Catherine The Sly (an Arthouse film). But the date is still almost a month away. Could another film wind up on the calendar too?

Greetings! Bob here with the first report on ways to make it big in Hollywood the Game. I know it can be confusing when you first start out. Heck, it’s confusing for some people who have been around since the beginning. But, thanks to the inside poop that I’m privvy to, I’ll be forwarding some hints and tidbits that should make your life in HTG Hollywood much better.

This report: Saving money on casting.

Hey, producers! Studios pick up the expenses for a movie. Let them pay for your expensive talents. Heck, they probably have an award or two that’ll make the cost next to nothing. So go ahead and demand those A Listers. In fact, demand one or two more than you really need. You can fake a compromise down to the one you big name who you really want.

Studio chiefs, do you not have that fancy award that allows you to get a bunch of movie talent for free or little cost? It’s simple enough to save some cash. The best way is to find an actor or director not on the talent listing. He’s not on the database, so his TS must be .5, no matter who he is, right? Apparently that’s the going notion. What if that talent is on the listing and you still want him, but not at the full price? Name misspellings are always a good way to save cash. Would you like Tom Cruise for your new action blockbuster, but don’t want to pay $13.327 million for his services? No problem. “Tom Cruse” isn’t on the talent listing, so he charges only half a million. So just pay a measely $500 thousand for him. When you submit the cast to the HTG admin for your movie, conveniently leave off the Talent Scores. Sure, they’ll have to look up the TS for your top cast members, but they’ll naturally look up the score for Tom Cruise instead. You’ve just saved more than $12 million! Yahoo!

Another way for studio chiefs to save cash is to say that you are using an award in the Studio Chiefs section, but you really don’t have it. Don’t mention the award in the update thread, of course. Since the updaters don’t double check the award usage in the Studio Chiefs section, it’ll look like you’re legit. And if someone does spot the error, just say that you’re supposed to have it. Where did it go?

Is your movie production total running high? How about dropping a zero off of the end of the pay amount. The administration won’t always notice. If your bill is for $50,000,000 (you don’t use commas on the deal submission form), pay just $5,000,000. A tired admin might not notice. If they do catch it, apologize for the error, stating that it was a typo. Don’t pay right away, though. Wait until they mention the owed money again a couple times. Eventually you’ll get around to it.

That’s all for this report. I’ll be back with another one if this one doesn’t get me in trouble. The big wigs in HTG Hollywood are always wanting to keep the little guy down!

By Lucian

Were you itching to own Lightning McQueen from the movie Cars? Well, you’re too late. But HTG Classic Car Dealership still has three vehicles in stock!

So why buy a vehicle? Well, there are a variety of car dealerships in HTG. There’s the tough to find Plan 9 Used Car dealership (pink rectangle directly below the Casino on the map) where you can find cheap vehicles ranging in price from three to four million. These ultra cheap vehicles will add $100,000 in free production money to every film you produce moving forward. And even a Red Mini will get you to the Book ‘n Brew for a latte.

I’m not sure who Rico is, but he has trouble keeping the name of his carlot straight. Depending where you look it’s either Rico’s Cool Cars or Rico’s Ok Cars*. Either way the selection is the same. Cars and motorcycles ranging from seven to ten million. But, unlike their cheap counterparts, these vehicles add $500,000 in production costs to your future movies and manage to look stylish while doing it.

Which brings us back to the Classic dealership. With only a maximum of four vehicles in stock (currently three) these cars are unique and each comes from a film or TV series. The twist at the classic dealership? “All cars add a free 1 million towards all the production budgets of your future films and an extra 1 million towards a specific genre (which will be revealed after purchase).”

So, what can you choose from? Well, motorcycle fans can currently pick up Steve McQueen’s Triumph from The Great Escape. This could add to crime movies or perhaps drama? Who knows until someone buys it? It will run you $18 million so you better hope you guess right.

A more conventional vehicle would be a Bond car, in this case from The Man With The Golden Gun. Could this add to Action movies? Or perhaps this is crime. For $16 million you can find out.

Anything but conventional is The Beatle’s Yellow submarine. This amazing device can be stored in conventional garage space and will run you $15 million. Since Yellow Submarine is both animated and a musical, it’s a fairly safe bet the sub will add to one of those genres but, let’s face it, would be flat out cool to own.

Tired of walking? Sick of having to give sign language directions to a cabbie who speaks no known human language? Then it’s time to get a car. Prestige awaits you.

* Editor’s note: The name of the car lot is both. It’s like Superman; he’s also the Man of Steel, right? And who is Rico? He’s a friggin’ idiot, gosh!