Mystery Film?
By Lucian
The previously light looking July 14th weekend just got a little more interesting as an Untitled Sequel from UFI appeared on the release calendar.
No stars. No title. Not even a producer. Is this a ploy to drive away competition? Will Coruscant retaliate by booking Lucian’s Christopher Guest comedy “The Bomb” in the same weekend? Or will they look for a safer date. Flip Brothers already has “A High School Story” set for that weekend and Supersoul brings us “Pinball Wizards”. If this sequel is also a comedy could that mean four comedies opening in one weekend. And with no idea what UFI has planned how can any other studio counterprogram? What about prolific Pedroscope? Will they take a rare weekend off?
I approached Krisgreet to see if he had any information. But when asked about the mystery film he fled in terror. Clearly a conspiracy is at foot. I headed home to submit a maintenance request for my apartment to my landlord Sureshot and while I was there asked him about the film. He denied involvement and pointed out Supersoul was his cinema and therefore already had a film that day. Could that be a cunning cover story. I decided to follow up by asking about the film.
“Pinball Wizards. A Wes Anderson dramedy produced by Mattricks, starring Bill Murray, Jon Heder of Napoleon Dynamite fame, Jena Malone and Matt Atwood (Mattricks).”
I asked him if he was worried there could be four comedies opening that week?
“I’ll be worried if none of them make me laugh.”
With Sureshot’s seemingly solid cover story in place I knew I had to look elsewhere. DCE refused to return my calls…Suspicious. But I had to get closer to the source.
Disguised as a candygram I got inside the belly of the beast. I cut through the crowded backlots of UFI studios seeking someone I could eavesdrop on. I only found Jay Roach hanging around looking for work. It was time to hit the enemy where he lived; MC48’s condo. Just as I was pulling up DEC called me back claiming tohave been absorbed watching HTV. A likely story. He also added “I know nothing of what you speak! And you can quote me.”
On to the condo. Disguised as a Jehovah’s Witness I made it past the condo gates and parked my Audi TT by Hand’s place to avoid drawing suspicion. A speed cycle still sat in the garage but it appeared mc48 was not home. Time to wait. I hate waiting. Time to dig some more into “A High School Story”
With Dan Militello listed as producer it seemed to rule him out as involved in the mystery project, or did it? Could a cunning producer put two films out in one week as a complete surprise to everyone. Possible but unlikely. A Farrelley Brothers Comedy sounded quite different from “Pinball Wizards” which may mean the variety of the weekend is greater than it seems at first. Will Farrell and Steve Carell teaming again certainly sounds promising as well.
Time to run down more contacts. Eric M could only offer “Sorry I can’t help but I know absolutely nothing.” And then, the call from my studio telling me we had blinked and were moving to August. Curse you UFI!
This isn’t over…I will learn more.
