Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

By Lucian

What’s New At The Museum

Serious renovations have taken place at HTG Museum (click on the tinkier statur near the middle of the map). In addition to a spiffy new layout we now have items from 2006 films on display!

First in the list is a Spacesuit, complete with labels, from Flip Brother’s current release Logic Problems. Though the suit did not feature prominently in the action the prop department took great care to make it as realistic as possible.

If you weren’t paying close attention you might think the next object on display was just left by a janitor but it turns out to be a prop from Eat **** and Die! It’s Jizzmopper’s mop! I didn’t get close enough to sniff it.

Two items from DC Comics based films are side by side. The first is Jade’s Mask from Green Lantern it’s a very cool item and replicas should be sold somewhere. This is of course from Green Lantern. And from Flip Brother’s superman: Last Son of Krypton is a chunk of Kryptonite. It’s cool looking but not marketable except as a paperweight.

The final item is also superhero themed. It’s from Aaron Rowland’s Independent release The Darker Side of Superheroesand it’s the nefarious joint box that figured into the villain’s master plan. I won’t comment on how useful it would be as a piece of merchandise.

So what about merchandise? Glad you asked! The Museum Gift shop is also open with 3 cute items. At 3 million there is the safari hat and the incredibly cool Viking helmet. A steal at 2.9 million is the museum t-shirt. These items aren’t just good looking either. Each adds $100,000 to all future museum donations; though it is only possible to own one of each.

More is on the way at the museum as we’ve been promised “Coming this weekend to the Museum is 25 new posters on display from throughout the virtual Hollywood History, dating as far back as Virtual Producer.”

So check out the museum, remember to donate props and posters and say hi to the cutie at the merchandise stand for me!

Ship of Fooles Expands!

Ship of Fooles has announced it will be adding a Comedy/Drama backlot to its Arthouse studio allowing Studio Head Lucian greater flexibility in the films he can release either for himself or for other writers.

And speaking of other writers Ship of Fooles has a landmark deal to announce. Ship of Fooles has inked a deal with Edward Havens to land the VP/FM legend’s first H:TG film. Details are few at this moment except that the film will be a full Drama, Ship of Fooles’ first full film to be announced and the release date is planned to be in September. Brian DePalma and Jack Nicholson, both of whom have been seen hanging around Ship of Foole’s Casting agency lately (http://hollywood.spirit-of-the-air.net/htg2/town/specialbuildings/offices/office11.htm) are thought to be prospects to become involved.

“Obviously we’re very pleased to land such a name given we’re the new kid on the block.” Lucian commented “But it goes to show that personal relationships are also very important in virtual Hollywood. It wasn’t my bank account or my film library that landed me this deal it was my own good past relationship.”

That relationship was built on past co-productions such as Alpha Centauri, Zombies Must Live!, and its musical sequel Zombies Must Paint! Ship of Fooles has shown an interest in zombies since could these films be re-released some day under the H:TG banner? Only time, and re-release award availability, will tell.

Meanwhile Ship of Fooles launches its first film not written in-house on July 28th when Bennyman’s horror film Zest hits theaters.

“While I am an admittedly prolific writer,” Lucian adds “I don’t want my studio to be built almost entirely around me. Like The Times is.”

By The Pit

Only three days before the Flip Brothers Studio and Formosa Films’ first collaboration, “Never Dump a Vengeful Alcoholic,” hits theaters, the companies have released the official sound track to the motion picture.

“I sought out songs and artists who would fit in with this very dark, female-focused Los Angeles comedy,” the films writer/producer, Cassy, told a crowd of reporters at a special Flip sponsored press release held on Bogart Boulevard, overlooking the water.

Cassy was very eager to talk about the soundtrack. “We got rising band ‘She Wants Revenge’ to cover two of the songs for us, “You’re Breaking My Heart” by Harry Nilsson and “Sunny” by Dusty Springfield.”

Why ‘She Wants Revenge’?

“They were an easy choice: the name of their band could have easily been the title of this film, and their unique, demented sound is perfect for this film.”

Complete sound track listing:
1. You’re Breaking My Heart - She Wants Revenge
2. Cheer’s Darlin’ - Damien Rice
3. King’s Crossing - Elliot Smith
4. That’s How I Knew This Story Would Break My Heart - Aimee Mann
5. Run - Snow Patrol
6. Add it Up - Violent Femmes
7. Steady, As She Goes - The Raconteurs
8. Wicked Game - Giant Drag
9. Sunny - She Wants Revenge
10. Knights of Cydonia - Muse
11. Cherry Bomb - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

The sound track can be purchased at all major outlets and can also be downloaded from ITunes and the Flip Brothers Studio’s official website. “Never Dump a Vengeful Alcoholic” hits theaters this Friday.

By Lucian

Uma Nude?!

Nude photos of Uma Thurman have leaked to the Internet, or have they? Spokespeople for Ms. Thurman claim the items are fake. The buzz has certainly kicked up for Ms. Thurman as a result. But how will this affect her role in the upcoming Family film The White Cat set to be directed by Brian Henson?

Producer and Studio Head Lucian was quick to put down the rumours. “Firstly, we’ve already shot the film. Ms. Thurman is in it. We open July 7th do you think I’m going to reshoot. Besides Uma was just perfect doing the mostly vocal part as the white cat. Our film is for the whole family, not just kids, so if Uma’s more adult fans want to come se it I think they’ll have a great time. Just don’t expect to see Uma or Orlando Bloom naked in the film. And we’re not insane enough to have Alan Alda or William Shatner appear naked!”

The public is glad of it. The White Cat opens July 7th from Ship of Fooles.

Hype Diner Closed for Renovations

It looks like the choices of where to eat in HTGtown just got smaller. Hype Diner has temporarily closed its doors according to owner Blacksmith:

As of now, the Hype Diner is on hiatus due to my inactivity in the game, but I hope to open it again soon.

Though the admin will likely honor any orders on current supply dont’ expect to see any restocking any time soon. It is also no longer possible to buy advertising at the diner.

Flip Brothers and the Book and Brew remain open to serve the comunity as does Club Sierra but now might be a good time for a crafty entrepeneur to consider opening a new eatery in town.

By Lucian

Optikon Lives!

We have received confirmation that Optikon Graphics is still open and accepting orders. Lucas himself confirmed our inquiries. Optiokon posts rates of $4million per poster, $3 million per teaser or a complete package of 1 poster, 1 teaser and 1 website for $10 million though these prices are subject to change.

You can visit Optikon’s website at http://members.shaw.ca/lucas9191/opticongraphix/ and contact Lucas at luke5685@yahoo.com

Coruscant and Lucian Bank on “The Bomb”

With the summer calendar packed to the rafters studios are already looking to later release dates. Hoping to bank on the last summer box office of Labor Day weekend is “The Bomb” written by Lucian and being released as a full comedy by Coruscant.

“The Bomb” is a Christopher Guest comedy that follows the finlas of a National Paper Rock Scissors competition. “Believe it or not” says producer Lucian “There really are such things. Real competitions tend to use the name Rock Paper Scissors so I decided to shuffle the words up out of respect. It’s also the way I’m used to calling the game which I have a surprising amount of experience in due to years of playing White Wolf’s various Mind’s Eye Theater Live Action Role Playing games. But even I didn’t know about the various rcognized gambits and official strategies of the game until I started researching this film. Who know, the annual real competition are in my home town of Toronto, maybe I’ll try to win.”

The film stars Damon Wayans, Chris Kattan and Guest regulars such as Eugene Levey, Catherine O’ Hara, Parker Posey, Michael McKean, Ed Begley Jr, Jim Piddock and Guest himself. Also joining the cast are Betty White and Amy Poehler.

So far, only Secret Agent Troy Percival from Pedroscope is set yo open September 1rst. It remains to be seen if “The Bomb” will beat its competition and win the weekend.

Arthouse Studio Changes Hands

Bulletproof has been sold
Ladies & Gentlemen I’m happy to announce that I’m the new owner of Bulletproof studios
I’m going back into the major studio business.
Me and Sureshot are re-uniting.

With these words yet another major shakeup of the HTG power structure has begun. Bulletproof studios, the original arthouse studio, is now in the hands of Rotor while Mattricks returns to Supersoul Cinemas to add even more power to one of HTG’s premier studios. Meanwhile Rotor brings all new maangement to Bulletproof (is a name change in the works). With two other srthouse studios chomping at Bulletproof’s heels the new owenrship should bring new ideas and work to fend off all challenges.

In what has already been an exciting summer of moves and returns no one saw this coming. What more surprises are in store at HTG?

By Lucian

Dining At The Hype Diner

The Hype Diner is one of HTG’s quirkier restaurants. Remiscient of Hollywood Café it serves up diner fare along with a healthy does of advertising. Sadly, the ads are out of date. I’m sure Jurassic Park: Evolution is pleased about the extra popularity though.

The current menu includes Burger Platters (Barry Sonnenfeld – 7.0, Ben Stiller — 6.2, Joaquin Phoenix — 6.27, David Cronenberg – 5.0, Michelle Pfeiffer – 4.5) Fries, Rings & sides (Meryl Streep — 4.0, Alexander Payne — 4.0, Emilio Estevez – 4.0, Lindsay Lohan – 3.35, David Caruso – 3.0) Specialty Milkshakes (Harry Connick Jr – 2.72, Warwick Davis – 2.5, Jim Sheridan – 2.5, Sean Astin – 2.5, Mila Kunis - 2.35) and Beers and Cocktails (Tori Spelling – 1.5, Steve Coogan — 1.5, Zach Galifianakis – 1.0, Gary Coleman – 1.0, Nick Cannon – 1.0) . With a flat admission price of 3 million you currently have a better than even chance of recouping atleast your investment while dining there. And really isn’t Gary Colman or Tori Spelling worth 3 million for the chance to use?

Hype Diner also offers some nice clothing and merchandise at only $2 million a piece with each piece offering a $100,000 discount (non-stackable) on all future visits. Clothes collectors may want to check out the Evolution Fanny Pack which is in limited supply.

The real question of course is whether the Hype Diner is still active. With Flip Brothers Pizza out of stock there are few dining choices left in HTGtown and it would be sad to learn this one was closed. Inquiries have been made and hopefully we’ll be able to confirm the Hype Diner as open soon!

Judgment Day

Four films open June 30th and one of them is based on the comic franchise Judge Dredd. Specifically, subtitled Dreadd vs. Death. the film promises action, horror and science fiction all in one. With a solid action cast led by Ron Pearlman (Hellboy) as Judge Joseph Dredd and Hugio Weaving (The Matrix, Lord of the Rings) as Judge Death. Other key roles are filled by Naomi Watts, Karl Urban and Diane Lane.

Random has taken on the script writing duties with Alex Proyas set to direct. And with studio giant Flip Brothers (fresh off their exclusive deal with returning producer Cassy) have high hopes of winning the weekend.

The plot takes us the dark days of the 22nd century where the legal system has been boiled down to its essentials. Gone are juries and trials, judges now dispense instant justice. Most respected, or perhaps feared, among them is 40 year veteran Judge Dredd a man who has sacrificed much for his chosen profession. In the story he tangles with a Death Cult intent on reviving the spirits of 4 of Dredd’s most deadly foes The Dark Judges. Nothing like a ghood apocalypse to motivate an action hero, eh? And toss in a load fo zombies and vampires (but no ninjas, sadly) and we should be looking at a story chock-a-block with knuckle whitening action.

When asked if he expected to win the weekend studio head RS replied: I fully expect the weekend to be the “battle of the summer” and one of the closest weekends of the year. I can tell you this though, if the main stars of each film were to get into a fight, Judge Dredd would be the one to come out on top! What’s that tell you?

What indeed.

Cassy’s First Film Revealed

It’s going to be a blockbuster June with a whopping eighteen films now set to open. Eighteen you ask? Well we’ve just been given exclusive details on Cassy’s first film now set to open June 23rd!

The film is titled “Never Dump A Vengeful Alcoholic” and Cassy describes the dark comedy as “the bastard child of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Bad Santa, and Adventures In Babysitting”. With a parentage like that it’s certain to be a shocker. This is Cassy’s first release since signing an exclusive long-term deal with Flip Brothers so obviously they will release the film.

Also on the slate for June 23rd are Bad Moon Rising, Arthur: Damn of a Legend, and A Christmas Tale. The next weekend is no break either as five films open! June may be the hottest month in the history of HTG!

By Lucian

Filming is currently under way on Flip Brothers and Ship of Fooles’ new film “Sword of God” a Crusades Epic Drama starring Tim Roth, Halle Barry and Danny Glover. The shot site is the beautiful African island nation of Watusi.

“When the Watusi government approached, surprisingly when we were dropping Gary Oldman off at the City Dump,” comments producer Lucian “I wasn’t certain what kind of big budget film I might be able to use in their beautiful country. Then I realized it would be ideal for my reshooting of the TV script for “Sword of God”. If anything I’m sorry we portray the country so badly. We make it look like one big desert when it’s so lush and varied. I know the cast and crew really enjoy their leisure hours here. I keep trying to convince RS to build me a mansion here but I think we’ll wait to see the box office results first.”

Sword of God opens August 4th

By Lucian

The previously light looking July 14th weekend just got a little more interesting as an Untitled Sequel from UFI appeared on the release calendar.

No stars. No title. Not even a producer. Is this a ploy to drive away competition? Will Coruscant retaliate by booking Lucian’s Christopher Guest comedy “The Bomb” in the same weekend? Or will they look for a safer date. Flip Brothers already has “A High School Story” set for that weekend and Supersoul brings us “Pinball Wizards”. If this sequel is also a comedy could that mean four comedies opening in one weekend. And with no idea what UFI has planned how can any other studio counterprogram? What about prolific Pedroscope? Will they take a rare weekend off?

I approached Krisgreet to see if he had any information. But when asked about the mystery film he fled in terror. Clearly a conspiracy is at foot. I headed home to submit a maintenance request for my apartment to my landlord Sureshot and while I was there asked him about the film. He denied involvement and pointed out Supersoul was his cinema and therefore already had a film that day. Could that be a cunning cover story. I decided to follow up by asking about the film.

“Pinball Wizards. A Wes Anderson dramedy produced by Mattricks, starring Bill Murray, Jon Heder of Napoleon Dynamite fame, Jena Malone and Matt Atwood (Mattricks).”

I asked him if he was worried there could be four comedies opening that week?

“I’ll be worried if none of them make me laugh.”

With Sureshot’s seemingly solid cover story in place I knew I had to look elsewhere. DCE refused to return my calls…Suspicious. But I had to get closer to the source.

Disguised as a candygram I got inside the belly of the beast. I cut through the crowded backlots of UFI studios seeking someone I could eavesdrop on. I only found Jay Roach hanging around looking for work. It was time to hit the enemy where he lived; MC48’s condo. Just as I was pulling up DEC called me back claiming tohave been absorbed watching HTV. A likely story. He also added “I know nothing of what you speak! And you can quote me.”

On to the condo. Disguised as a Jehovah’s Witness I made it past the condo gates and parked my Audi TT by Hand’s place to avoid drawing suspicion. A speed cycle still sat in the garage but it appeared mc48 was not home. Time to wait. I hate waiting. Time to dig some more into “A High School Story”

With Dan Militello listed as producer it seemed to rule him out as involved in the mystery project, or did it? Could a cunning producer put two films out in one week as a complete surprise to everyone. Possible but unlikely. A Farrelley Brothers Comedy sounded quite different from “Pinball Wizards” which may mean the variety of the weekend is greater than it seems at first. Will Farrell and Steve Carell teaming again certainly sounds promising as well.

Time to run down more contacts. Eric M could only offer “Sorry I can’t help but I know absolutely nothing.” And then, the call from my studio telling me we had blinked and were moving to August. Curse you UFI!

This isn’t over…I will learn more.