Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

By Marlowe

In a surprise turn of events, recent missing articles from the former home of Mayor Adam West have been found on property being rented by Pee Wee Herman for the Find Mr. T Coalition. During the early hours of January 11, the house in northern HTG Hollywood burned down in a mysterious fire. Mayor West ordered an investigation into the cause of the blaze and to the location of items missing from the location. These items included a modest film library, a trio of action figures, some automobiles and a pet rabbit.

“I was devestated to hear of the fire,” announced Mayor West. “I don’t live at that home any longer, but I will always have a sentimental attachment to it.”

Acting on an anonymous tip, the HTG Police Department raided the Find Mr. T Coalition Headquarters, located at 855 Merideth Drive. The small office space was being rented by Pee Wee Herman and staffed by several other HTG well-knowns as a base of operations to locate their missing friend, former A-Team actor and 1-800-COLLECT spokesman Mr. T. Police found the items missing from the former residence of Mayor West in storage in the rear of the building.

A warrant was issued for the arrest of Pee Wee Herman, who has had misfortune with the law previously. “I have no idea what that stuff is doing there,” protested the childlike man as he was handcuffed in the back room of Club Siberia. “It’s a conspiracy. Someone doesn’t want us to find Mr. T, so they put all that stuff there.”

Other members of the Find Mr. T Coalition were not arrested. The official reason is that it was Herman’s name that was on the lease, so it is Herman who is being investigated. Rumors have it, though, that the HTG police were afraid to accuse Coalition member Chuck Norris.

Mayor West seemed pleased to have his property returned when he announced “I’ll be rebuilding the house on Dangerfield Street. We can’t have an empty lot in such a nice neighborhood.”

By Chris Harmer

The HTG Chatroom was the scene of another tremendous conflict last week as an epic rap battle took place between our very own Bryan Bishop and Mattay Fowler. It was a war of the ages, reminiscent of Ali vs. Frazier and, although my memory isn’t what it used to be, I’m pretty sure it ended in the world being destroyed. Both parties dsiplayed creativity unseen before in all my years of being a rap battle reporter. Matty tried to keep up with the big man’s rhymes but constantly challenging his manhood and masculinity, but in the end MC Bizzy B showed skill last seen in the 90s by a rapping granny and squashed his foe handily.

This was the first major rap battle since the FM days and this reporter direly hopes it’s the last. Besides, they all can’t match DJ Harmergeddon for pure skillz. But how will Mattay handle this sound defeat? Will Bishop’s gloating and taunting ever end? Will he ever stop mocking the size of his penis? Only time will tell… only time will tell.

By Marlowe

After a week of voting, the sixth HTG Town Event came to a close late Tuesday evening. Three sightings of the missing HTG mayoral candidate Mr. T were filed with the Find Mr. T Coalition. Whether there is any truth to any of these sightings is yet to be determined.

Following a peaceful week of voting by the citizens of HTG Hollywood, tragedy struck on the north side of town in the early hours of Wednesday. The former residence of Mayor Adam West, long known to be at odds with the out-spoken Mr. T, was burned to the ground. A representative from the HTG Fire Department would not speculate about the cause of the blaze.

Fortunately for Mayor West, he was safe in bed at the residence provided to him by the city, near downtown HTG Hollywood. “This is a sad day,” commented the former Batman TV series star. “It was a fine home. I’m sure that the HTGFD will uncover the cause of the fire soon.”

Suspiciously missing from the home are a number of items owned by the mayor, which he kept at the residence. Among those items were a small film library, some action figures and a pet rabbit. Fire Marshall Bill of the HTGFD stated that “No evidence of these items were found in the burned rubble. It’s as if they were removed before the fire occurred.”

When asked about what he would do with the plot of land, Mayor West replied “I suppose that I can rebuild. Real estate is at a premium here in HTG. I’m sure that someone would enjoy living there.”

Stay tuned to various HTG news sources for further developments on this story.