Archives: What’s Happening in HTG Town

By Marlowe

Quickly after the official announcement of the disappearance of mayoral candidate Mr. T, celebrities have overwhelmed HTG Hollywood with support for finding the star of classics such as DC Cab and The A-Team. Leading a celebrity coalition to locate the missing luminary is Pee Wee Herman, a fan of Mr. T’s.

“I eat his cereal every day,” remarked the one-time children’s show host. “I bought all that I could find when it was still for sale. I have a whole barn of it! True, it’s a little stale, but if you add milk and a lot of sugar, it tastes perfectly fine.”

“If anyone has spotted our friend Mr. T, please give the information to the authorities,” continued Pee Wee. “I understand that there’s even a contest going on where you can win great Mr. T prizes.”

PW is referring to HTG Town Event #6, which can be spotted over on the HTG message board.

“It’s a terrific idea,” offered Mr. T friend Chuck Norris. “If I ever find out that someone had anything to do with my amigo Mr. T going missing, I’ll give him a roundhouse kick right to the kisser.”

Rumors have circulated that Mr. T has been spotted in southern HTG Town on a run-down plot of land. This reporter has been unable to verify the truth to those rumors.

Stay tuned to this HTG news source and the HTG site for further developments in the search for the HTG legend Mr. T.

By Marlowe

Weeks have passed since the citizens of HTG Hollywood have witnessed the heated banter between the town’s two mayoral candidates, incumbent Adam West and eager Mr. T. As Election Day approached, it was assumed that the competition would become more bitter. Mayor West has been seen as the smooth candidate, willing to throw his cash around to secure the votes of the town residents. Mr. T’s campaign centered on the wasteful excesses of the Mayor and how his intentions were more on himself, not HTG Hollywood.

Late in October, as the highly anticipated debate between the two men approached, Mr. T’s headquarters announced that the candidate had acquired evidence that would “open the eyes of them suckas who think that fool West is an okay fellow.” Fortunately for the West camp, that evidence would never surface. Taking the evening off from his campaign to speak with a crowd at the HTG Youth Center, the powerful Mr. T was reported to not arrive. Weeks have passed, without the former A-Team star appearing anywhere in HTG.

With no opposing candidate to speak out against his policies, Adam West easily won back his Mayor’s seat. When asked about Mr. T’s disappearance, all that a snickering Mayor West would provide is “I’m sure he saw the writing on the wall. That is, if he can read.”

Where is Mr. T? Is he in hiding? Or has something horrific befallen the “people’s candidate?”

“I think he may have been embarrassed about being in a Baseball Mogul Productions movie,” offered one town citizen.

“I hear that he’s on location shooting the sequel to DC Cab,” suggested another.

A dozen alleged Mr. T sightings have been turned in, but none have shown any validity. “We won’t give up until we have him back in town,” remarked an HTG resident shopping at Mega Mart. “Although he’s not here with us, he’ll never be far from our hearts.”

I’ve been lurking behind the scenes of the upcoming HTG Comic Con, set to launch this weekend (December 12th), doing my favorite thing: People watching. In one booth, getting ready to unveil his daunting version of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ brilliant graphic novel WATCHMEN, is JGraham. Graham has been instrumental in organizing this convention and I applaud his diligent work in that department. However, the Watchmen fans I polled all have one major gripe: casting. Despite solid choices such as Guy Pearce as Adrian “Ozymandias” Veidt, Mickey Rourke as The Comedian and Liev Schrieber as John “Dr. Manhattan” Ostermann, the rest of the top-lining stars are…odd choices. John Cusack as Night Owl? Too comedic…I see someone more like Tim Robbins or William Hurt. Rachel Weisz as Silk Spectre? Too young. How about Demi Moore? Most glaring is Daniel “James Bond” Craig as Rorschach. Rorschach is much better suited to William H. Macy or David Caruso than the tall, imposing Craig. Whatever. The Phantom will still see the film, despite my disappointment.

At the next table setting gear to whore the upcoming Daredevil: The Devil You Know…is writer Scott Kessler and Exec. Producer Kris Greet. Their casting choices aren’t much better. Edward Norton as Daredevil? I don’t see it, despite Norton’s solid acting chops in films like Primal Fear, American History X and Fight Club. He just doesn’t scream SUPERHERO to me. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’d love to have seen Brad Pitt in this role, with former WWF wrestler King Kong Bundy as The Kingpin. I know, The Phantom is having another of his famous pipedreams. Both Kessler and KG looked at me like a piece of lint when I asked for an interview, so f**k them.

I wandered around for a while, looking at the displays as they were unveiled to the press. An array of colorful sci-fi paraphernalia drew me to the Firefly booth. Ok, The Phantom is going to go ahead and mark himself as a pariah here in HTG: Joss Whedon sucks and his movies/TV shows are crap. Has anyone forgotten (the original) Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Starring Kristy “WhereAmINow” Swanson and Luke “Not a pretty boy anymore” Perry) or Alien Resurrection (A remake of ALIENS with pirates…ARGH Me Matey…Argh!!)? For those of you who do, can you remember the stink that permeated your soul as you watched these films? Does anyone really care about the adventures of pretty, WB-ready people in space? Does anyone know (or care) who the hell Nathan Fillion is? Does anyone else remember Adam Baldwin when he made movies (Full Metal Jacket) that mattered? Eh…whatever keeps the kids tuning in I guess.

On the other hand, The Phantom IS excited about the return of some real heroes: Superman…Green Lantern…Judge Dredd…just to name a few. I’ll be back to ramble about those and everything else that happened at the convention in my next column…until then I await hate mail from all you Joss Whedon/Buffy/Angel/Firefly fans! C’mon…I won’t read your letters, but burning them will shave a few bucks off my electricity bill this winter!

Time will tell…

By Sydias

Miracle Pictures. Some say that it is a studio that lacks the driving force of a power player. Others say that it has entered in and out of dormant phases and will continue to do so. I say there is more to it than that, and I thought I’d get the low down from the man himself, Marlowe. I called him up on a phone conference when he had time, and we discussed the ups and downs of being a studio head.

Syd: There are rumors floating around that state Miracle Pictures is not picking up films because you as studio head are not interested in the films being pitched. Others state that you are waiting for producers to come to you. Would you care to explain to the good citizens at HTG Town what the true reason is for only having your two films released so far with no films on the calendar?

M: My status as a studio head is a bit unique. The reason that I opened Miracle Pictures was so that there would be a place for producers to come if we ran short of studios or if the other chiefs were not available at the time. This was back before we figured that we would be losing a couple studios and before Sureshot opened Supersoul.

As a game admin I have plenty to do without seeking projects. I’d be more than happy to listen to a producer’s idea when one approaches me. I have had a few tell me that they will release something with me.

You’ll find that, even if I had some projects planned, I don’t post on the release calendar until late in the process. That’s when I know for sure that the film will be done, plus the web site and such. I won’t post a movie on a date and move it every couple of weeks, or cancel it (unless something dire happens).

The second film released by Miracle Pictures, The Last Movie Ever Made, was really a last-minute thing to prove a point to some people who were crying about the Halloween Short Film Contest. They couldn’t comprehend that anyone could have a film released on October 28, not them. Fortunately for Miracle Pictures, The Last Movie Ever Made was a success.

Syd: As a Studio Head, what are your ambitions for your studio?

M: I just want the studio to be a place where producers can release their product if they are unable to elsewhere.

Syd: Is there a certain quality you look for in films that you pick up, or perhaps a certain genre you prefer?

M: I’d prefer cheaper genres for now. Making those sci-fi films can be expensive compared to comedies or dramas.

Syd: What films by your own production company can we expect within the 2006 year?

M: If you check out the Miracle Pictures lot, you would see that I own a number of franchises that I have some sort of development on. I recently picked up The Greatest American Hero, the TV show from the 80’s. I had some solid ideas for it that I would like to pursue. I’ll also be producing the show Dead Heat for the first season of HGTV. Then there are a jillion other things that I’ve got some sort of start on. Unfortunately, time hasn’t permitted me to get very far into them.

Syd: You were featured dead last in a recent The Pit article as a power player here at HTG. Do you have any comments on these findings?

M: Beats me. I’m really not that “active” in being competitive. I’m just playing for the fun of it. If I wanted to compete for high slots, I’d ditch some of the things that I do and pursue it. The veteran players know that. Besides, it’s kinda funny that I’m on a “power player” list when I’ve been too busy too play any but part time.

Well, you heard the man. We are here to have fun, not compete in a “Mine’s bigger AND better than yours” competition. Leave that for belt sizes and shoe sizes, and not number of films produced or whatnot here at HTG. And newer (and even old) producers, you heard the man. If Comedy or Drama is your thing, Marlowe is your man. Just send him a pm and start discussing your pitch with him, and you could be on your way to releasing a film through Miracle Pictures Studios. And don’t forget to see The Last Movie Ever Made, out now at HTG Theatres.

Production on Scott Kessler and 21st Century Cat’s ultra-ambitious adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s classic horror tale The Call of Cthulhu came to a screeching halt this past week as the director stormed off the film’s Antarctic set and swore never to return. Rumors abound regarding the source of the dispute between writer/executive producer Scott Kessler and wunderkind director M. Night Shyamalan, but the bottom line reads like this: Shyamalan is off the project. The cast will remain the same (Sean Connery, Guy Pearce, Michael Keaton, Vincent Cassel and Mickey Rourke), as the actors have been contracted to complete the film. The real question remains: Who will direct the troubled film?

A few names have been thrown around…names like Spielberg, Raimi, Romero, Carpenter and Wachowski. Our sources assure us that none of the above will actually come on-board the seemingly haunted project. One name that does keep re-surfacing is none other than Oscar-winning Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson, but that is unconfirmed. I’m personally pulling for John Carpenter, whose In The Mouth of Madness is a near perfect homage to H.P.L’s horrifying works.

As things stand, the film is roughly halfway through production at this point and will not make the original December release date. The producers assure us that the film will be completed and released via 21CC…but when? 21CC and Siege Studios have suggested a Summer 2006 release for the film, but word on the streets of HTG Hollywood has it that the film will be re-shot from scratch. Shades of Exorcist 4? Perhaps, but it seems that C.o.C. has a much better chance at success than Paul Schrader and Renny Harlin’s attempts at that sequel.

The Call of Cthulhu revolves around the concept that nightmares spawned by a sleeping, power-mad demon god living beneath the sea are predicting his return, which will in turn signal the end of humankind. It seems to me that it might take the might of Cthulhu himself to get this project out of the doghouse.

Time will tell.